Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Im Getting Fat.. and Happy!

Stepping on our Detecto weighing scale, I was shocked that I am already 167 pounds. That is 27 pounds two and a half months ago when I got confined in the hospital. Despite of my belly getting big and the fullness of my face, I feel good. At least I look healthy and I don't look thin.

It started when I got scared that the virus will make me thin. It came from my friend whom we revealed my status to when I was in the hospital. When I came out, the first thing that she asked was if I was getting thin. I said, I gained a few pounds more. Then I realized the common image of a person with AIDS. Thin, depressed and weakly. I told myself I can't be like that. I said to myself I must counter the effects of my virus and the meds. From that time on, I prepared myself.

Prior to taking my ARV's while still recuperating from the pneumonia and while on the cotrimoxazole and azithromycin, I started eating more. I ate six to seven meals a day! I became a pig. I even set my phone alarm to time my meal intervals. Tag was happy about it  because my appetite was so good. Even my doctors were happy. Then my face started to swell.. it became fuller. My clothes started to get tighter. I was happy!

Whenever I leave my place, everybody I know would always say, "hey you look fat!". It seems crazy but sometimes I think, why not just say, "hey you look good". Most know that I got sick.. people always saw me with a cotton ball in the front of my elbow from blood extraction, so why not just say, "hey I am glad you're ok now." But that is ok, I guess. At least I am the only sick one who is getting fat! I am happy!

But of course, getting fat is not really good. Being a person who has always been fit, I have to do something about it, sometime, somehow. I just like the feeling that I am still in control of my body even though I am being molested by the virus. What I know is that right now, I look and feel healthy, still. I am happy!




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