It's Better to Speak Out

You know what helped me cope up with my AIDS? It was my eagerness to speak my mind out about it and to reach out to the people who I love the most. Tag, my loving partner was there when the doctor broke the news and our families were understanding when we told them about my condition a day after. We also told some of our friends about it. The first two days was all about letting it all out. We did cry, of course, but on the the third they, it became all so easy. We started to laugh. I started to feel better.

Speaking out is a way to let go of the mental anguish that each pozzie has. Back in college, in my psych 101, my professor said once you talk it out half of the hatred already comes out and what is left of you is partial calmness which can grow more and more as you learn to accept what you have. I believe that is true because after a week of my diagnosis, we were already had been preparing for the treatment. I got excited even. I want to start as soon as possible. I was convinced that I will be treated by the ARV's. I showed optimism to every one even to my doctor.

To speak out, I motivated myself to study my illness, to do my research for me to understand how it goes. My doctors are my guides to my being well, but still it is me who has to do the healing process of my body.  I updated my friends and families who know, and even Tag about the new things that I read and learned. I questioned my doctors and gave suggestions to my treatment because I believe that treatment is all about partnerships.

To speak out, I started writing this blog. It helps me channel all my energies and optimism to it. I know that there are a few people who might be interested in knowing what I am going through. I know that other pozzies who are confused right now might somehow get some answers from my researches. I know that through this, I would be able to spread a greater hope to them about our illness.

The sooner for you to speak out the better. Worrying makes life not easy at all. Be strong and accept it. Better deal with those worries fast. Don't look at the past and start looking at the bright future. Don't go to bed thinking of the things that you should have done. It's already there. You are positive for the virus. You have to start moving on and go to the next step which is getting yourself informed. Start inquiring about our condition and talk to an HIV expert. They are everywhere. If you're not sure yet, talk to your doctor.. or perhaps even to an HIV counselor.

When ready, start telling your families and some friends. The sooner the better. They love you too much to push you away. It really lightens up the burden. It takes away a lot of pain buried inside. Once you've done that, you can only focus on your health and nothing more. You can then plan for your future, the treatment and how to deal with it mentally and financially. You can then start mastering your life once again.

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