But it's ok to feel that way. It's normal for anybody to do it. I've been there. The struggle was so great that I felt like there was no hope at all. But there was. There is!
HIV is not a death sentence anymore. It is like another disease that you have to treat with maintenance medications for the rest of your life. It's like having diabetes or heart disease. As long as you take your medicines every day, you will be alright. It is as simple as that. What's good about our illness is that the medicines are free with the support of the Global Fund and by next year, they will still be free care of PhilHealth. Just pay your monthly donations and after 6 months of taking ARV's in your hub, even your lab workout is free courtesy of PhilHealth. So when it comes to medicines, you have nothing to worry about.
It is hard at the beginning but as soon as you are already taking your medicines, everything would be smooth sailing. Of course, you still have to do your part in taking care of your body by eating right, exercising and preventing illnesses.
The medicines are free from the main HIV/AIDS hubs. Even the consultation with an Infectious Disease doctor is free. One has to succumb the cost of the initial lab workout and the CD4 as they are the requirements prior to the issuance of the ARV's. That's it. Once you are qualified for the ARV's, then you will be given a trial,then a month's supply then later on every 3 months you go back to the hub to get your "refill". Simple, right? When available, even the cotrimozaxole and azithromycin are free.
I know right now, you are confused, but take it from me, who have been there. You will be OK!
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