Wednesday, January 9, 2013

"Our HIV Test Experience"

Hi Pozziepinoy,


Good evening! I just would like to share me and my partners experience when we went to the RITM Clinic in Leon Guinto, just this Tuesday. My partner (28) works for a call center and logs-out at 7am. I (24) have a review that day which starts at 2:30pm so we decide to meet up after his shift. It was exactly 9am when we reached the clinic not because of the traffic or anything but because we still ate our breakfast.

Lean welcomed us with a smile and guided us through the questionnaire. I told him that you referred us to him and he left me and my partner inside a room to answer the questionnaire. The questions were pretty fast too answer, you just have to be honest and you’ll finish it in 3 minutes.
After that, Lean invited us to another room to start the Pre-Test Counselling together. He told us the things that we need to know with regards to HIV, AIDS and that we would undergo 3 tests. One for the HIV test, the other for the Syphilis test and the last test is for Hepa B. I really could not forget that experience, not because we were scared, or we did something naughty there, but that was the first time that me and my partner held hands without hiding (both of us are discreet and our families don’t know) and felt comfortable to be ourselves without any fear that someone will judge us. That is one realization that we wouldn’t have realized if we didn’t go there. Lean even said “Ang cute niyong dalawa together!” to the both of us that made us more comfortable and more relaxed.
After the counseling, Lean talked to us individually and I volunteered to go first. He asked me some very serious personal stuff, all of which are related to the questionnaire we answered earlier. Lean was very cheerful, very natural (not the usual health care worker that will ask you something and after you answer will move on to the next question.) We shared a lot of laughter together telling him of my experiences before and also me and my partner’s love story. I even asked him some personal questions and he gladly responded. I even confided with him some problems that me and my partner are experiencing at the moment and he gave some friendly advice. It feels like talking to a friend that you haven’t seen for a long time. No dull moment. Our one-on-one lasted for more than 5 minutes and my partner was next. Their talk lasted for 2 minutes, I believe, and my partner said he was just not that comfortable talking to a stranger about his past experiences. He just answered with a YES or a NO and some questions with a number.
Then came the most fearful part, the blood extraction. We, the three of us, went upstairs, and when Lean asked who would like to go first, I volunteered my partner (I’m kinda like the brat in this relationship you know?! LOL) and him being the mature one and more understanding, couldn’t say no and just let that, well, not to scare anyone, think and big thing (injection! Duh?) sucked his blood. That moment, my partner started feeling comfy with Lean around with us which made the environment very relaxed.  I went next and since we need to wait for 2 hours for the results, me and my partner just went to the next fastfood after.
We were really not scared or anxious of the results. We were talking inside the store as if it’s just a normal day and as if our lives won’t change within the next 2 hours. What we talked about was that feeling when we were holding hands and being ourselves while Lean is doing the counseling. Words could not really explain that feeling since we can’t and we won’t do that (for now…) in front of a lot of people and the only venue that we do those things freely are within the rooms of that very famous red-lighted room in Guadalupe or that European inspired motel in Cubao.
We both have talked about this day over and over and the things that might change once we know the results. I have always prayed at night for 2 weeks for us to see the check-mark on that non-reactive space. Just so you know, me and my partner started as fuck buddies and we eventually fell in love with each other. Before we met, he had his fair share of naughtiness from being sucked inside a coffee shop to joining orgies, some of which are unprotected and caused him to acquire “tulo” years ago. I, on the other hand, had a lot of s-e-b-s in PR and was also diagnosed with tulo last year. Everything changed last 5 months when we met and we promised to each other that we won’t do the deed again with others.
If we were to test negative, well, we will be first thankful to God that after those mistakes we’ve done in the past, He still did not let us sleep with someone who had the disease. 
If we were to test positive, we’ll still thank Him for crossing our paths, experiencing this genuine love that we share, and for giving us the courage to take the test. We both agreed that we would be more aggressive when it comes to reaching our dreams and won’t take life for granted and live each day as if it was our last. We will ACCEPT this result as a BLESSING in disguise, will make the most out of our jobs, will tell our families and friends that we love them each day, will construct a timeframe in reaching our goals and maybe, just maybe, through an effective medium (just like what Pozzie is doing here) will encourage a lot of people to take the test, will inspire them with our stories and will educate them that “it is not yet the end of their world but it’s just the beginning.”
At exactly 1pm, we went back inside the clinic and Lean was all smiles welcoming us again. That smile meant something, I thought to myself, and was hoping that God answered my prayers. Lean, again for the last time, asked who wanted to go first and of course I volunteered myself! I don’t want to prolong the agony anymore (see how selfish I am?) and went immediately inside. Lean’s face changed. From that welcoming smile earlier and now here he is sitting in front of me, holding 2 envelopes, very serious, and I believe for verification purposes, asked my full name again and my date of birth. He then told me all the advice that he lectured during his pre-counseling with me and my partner and also the personal advices he shared to me during our one-on-one. He handed the white envelope with my name printed on the back and told me to open it. I even told him “Sabihin mo na lang, natatakot akong buksan!” but he said that I would need to first read the results myself. I was shaking the whole time holding the envelope coz I know that inside this white paper is something that will CHANGE my life forever, no matter what the result is.
NON-REACTIVE for all three tests. I smiled ear-to-ear but hell yeah I was surprised! All of the memories of those late-at-night sebs, flirting and having fun with all those guys that I barely remember names and faces, suddenly occurred. God knows how I would accept my fate if it turned out positive but oh my, I am very blessed!
Now it was my partner’s turn… I saw him, my dream guy, patiently waiting outside. I didn’t smile nor nod and I just told him to go inside. After a few minutes of waiting, Lean told me to come inside again and I saw my partner there, standing and all smiles. Lean left us and gave us time to talk. He gave me the news that he tested negative for HIV and Syphilis but positive for Hepa B. Well, that really did not shock us because when he was young, he had that ailment already. Not that we won’t be taking it seriously but Lean told him already what to do and what foods/habits to avoid etc. We hugged each other, kissed for seconds, not caring about the world. We were just so happy that we did not want that moment to last but since I still have a review and it’s pass 1:30 already, we have to bid our goodbyes to Lean and the staff there. Before we left, Lean talked to us for the last time, congratulating us and advising us to visit him again after three months. He told us to strictly follow his advice and this was his exact words “Gawin niyong dalawa yung mga sinabi ko ha, ayokong pagbalik niyo dito after three months eh mag-iiyakan tayo pag nakita niyo yung results.”

Sincerely,
Teenage Dream

PS: I just would like to thank you, Pozzie. for being such a good example for everyone-Reactive or Non-Reactive readers. Your website is such a huge help for everyone especially to us, partners, since it helped us realize that having HIV is just like having diabetes or hypertension. The only difference is that people judge and discriminate those people who have HIV thinking that these people are immoral unlike with diabetes and hypertension which can be inherited. Just imagine these people with diabetes and hypertension, the money they spend on maintenance is too expensive while if you are an HIV positive, you’re medicines will be provided for by the government. Other people’s lame reason for not being tested is that “if you are really destined to die at a certain time, well you can’t do anything about it.” I find that very selfish since I don’t believe that all of us are islands here. We don’t live mainly for ourselves. Maybe some will say that they don’t have a partner or their friends won’t give a damn but guys, we still have families. Your parents or siblings might still be living and I do believe that it’s a person’s obligation to tell his or her love ones, especially their families, their health conditions because these people care. Well, thanks guys for taking the time in reading my story and I hope that you guys will now have the courage to take that first step of being responsible individuals.

POZZIEPINOY'S RESPONSE

Hi Teenage Dream.

Thank you for the email. Thank you for the kind words. With people like you who appreciate what we are doing, me and my contributors get more inspired to share of our time in answering all concerns from all our readers. Also, thank you for sharing your wonderful experience in taking the test. By sharing your one day, you are giving courage to others who still doesn't know their status to take the test. I do wish that others should also share their own experiences so that others will not be scared of of the HIV Test.
Once again congratulations on the result of both your tests and stay healthy all the time. Also, please help out in relaying to others, especially to those that you both had sexual encounters with in the past to take the test and not be scared by it. You can also direct them to the clinic. 

Thank you,
Pozziepinoy



"WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
NO PLHIV is alone with his or her struggle with HIV!"

-Pozziepinoy-





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