Living with HIV in the Philippines: Email 704: Worried of Having HIV

Hi pozziepinoy,

I am truly grateful I found ur blog. Its very informative. So here goes my story: I have been scared to death for a long time now about me being hiv +.

I was in a long term relationship. It lasted for five years. All along i thought we were monogamous. It was just recently i learned he had a lot of girls during our relationship. :'( it's really sad. Not only was i hurt emotionally but now im also worried if i got STDs or HIV from his doings.

For five years, everytime we do the deed, we always use protection because I'm paranoid about getting pregnant. I can count d times that we didn't use one with my fingers. And that's four times. D last one was just last september. I was scared to death about contracting something because i did not ask for any this. I Was blinded and was soo trusting to d person who i thought loved me and cared for me deeply. But all of it was a lie. Our entire relationship was a lie. So i got myself checked immediately. I got my hiv test last oct 8 and it came out negative. I was thinking, if he has hiv within our 5-yr relationship from his exploits, he must have passed it on to me already. But the test result was negative. Last week i came down with a cold, which made me even more anxious. But looking around me, everyone has one because of d weather. I dont have any rashes or any swollen lymph nodes. I did not have any high fever recently as well. No night sweats
whatsoever.

Although, there's one thing that keeps on bugging me. He always puts on d condom everytine he's ready to ejaculate but before dat we're unprotected. Is that safe?? Oh who am i kidding of course not. Because dats what weve been doing for five years. I dont know if HE does dat with his other girls. But can i get infected that way? Being unprotected before ejaculation? If so, is it safe to say that im hiv- frm my test result last oct 8? Even if our last deed was just last september?

Would really love your inputs.

I also got tested for other STDs. I tested nega for hep b and c and for vdrl(rpr). I still need to get tested from clam and gonorrhea but so far i dont have any abnormal discharges or any lower abdominal pain.

I just really want some peace of mind. Its just really unfair because i came into the relationship with pure intentions. I only have one sex partner in my entire life and thats him. Ive been crying my eyes out because i never thought that someone who you love can do something as exposing you to these diseases.

Will be expecting for your reply.

In awe of you,
sapphire

POZZIEPINOY’S RESPONSE

Hi Sapphire.

Thank you for your email. Thank you for the kind words about the blog and for sharing your story with us.

I understand what you are feeling and what you have been going through but I don't want to touch on infidelity here. Although I admire your courage to tell us your story.

Now let me go directly to the concerns that you asked.

First, one can transmit HIV with pre-ejaculatory, pre seminal fluid or what we call pre-cum. That means that during the time of an unprotected sex, even prior to ejaculation, one is already at risk of getting the virus.

Second, it is possible that you are still in the window period of HIV antibody detection that is why your HIV test result was negative since you said that it was just a month after your last unprotected sex that you took the test.

Third I am glad that you had been proactive with your health by taking all the other STD tests. It is really a good way to start taking control of your life once again.

If I were you, while waiting, try to convince your boyfriend to take the HIV test once and for all. If he really loves you and would want to save your relationship he will subject himself to the test. This will really put down all your worries to rest.

I hope I was able to answer your concerns. Feel free to email me again if you have other questions.

Stay healthy,

Pozziepinoy