Living with HIV in the Philippines: Email 389: Worried Guy from Hawaii

Hi pozzie

I am writing this email because I am afraid of being HIV positive. I am filipino ,20 years old and living in Hawaii.

This past couple of months I had sex multiple guys without condom. Then last august I was with my ex-bf , we was just fresh couple at that time. A week before he flew to Texas for a business trip we had sex without condom. We cum in each other but mostly I'm the top. Then when he came back I told him i had std so he need to go get check up. I know I lied to him because while he was gone I had sex with some guys but we used condom.

So the day after he got back from Texas he went to get tested and to be shock instead of having std, he was HIV POSITIVE. He looks healthy and doesn't look sick. I thought at that time I was the one who infected him but I didn't know before I met him he had multiple sex with other guys without condom. So at the same day I got tested and luckily I was negative, but the problem is I got tested a month ago after we had sex, so it means that I can be still hiv positive because of the 3months window period. And now im afraid to go and get tested again.

I broke up with him and I have a new partner. I love my partner right now and I want to spend my life with him, but I am afraid if infected him with the virus. I accidentally out my penis in him without condom but I take out right away. Right now me and my bf had a flu and still we're sick. What should I do, I am depress because my family expect me to help them and now because I might have hiv I do not know how to face my family. I am not open as a gay and when I told my mom that I am a gay, she cried and wants me to be a straight guy. What should I do?

POZZIEPINOY’S RESPONSE

Hi there.

Thank you for your email. Thank you for sharing with us your story and your experiences.

I understand what you are going through right now. I know you are scared. I know you have lots of apprehensions. But like what I tell others, there is no way to go but to get tested. You have done it and you need to do your follow up test. Just don't think anymore. Overthinking may one, make you more scared about the HIV test, and second will make you not feeling well physically. Trust me with this. Just go on with your life, protect yourself and others, especially your partner, and take the follow up HIV test.

I hope I was able to answer your concerns. Feel free to email me again if you have other questions.

Stay healthy,

Pozziepinoy