Living with HIV in the Philippines: My Experience with Yoga For Life

May Inner Peace be with you!

"WHY ME? I didn't do anything wrong, I never hurt anyone and in fact I was faithful. Why me?

I know people who are more promiscuous and they seem to be getting out without a scar

Why me? - ANGER

"I feel GYPPED in my life" - DEPRESSION

"I'm gonna DIE soon...."- FEAR

"FUCK! I got flu and rashes. How's my CD4?" - UNCERTAINTY

My life before I got HIV was good. The world was normal. I was so lucky with everything. I was dating, having fun, being in-love and being just myself. I was living the life I wanted to be. Work hard Party harder.

I was already planning to go abroad for a change when I got a reactive result to HIV! I did not tell anyone about it. I kept it a secret for several months. I blame my past and my previous relationship. I had so much resentment in my heart that I kept asking why I have to suffer on this. I felt gypped that I no longer have the motivation to work. My fear every minute, every hour and everyday affected my performance at work. I felt like my life would end anytime soon either in San Lazaro Hospital or P.G.H or I might end up in a Mental Hospital.

Despite of everything, I knew that there are some organizations who could help me and fortunately, I discovered Yoga For Life last March of 2012, a non-profit organization dealing with HIV whether infected or affected. I texted the number posted on their website and I was amazed with a compassionate response. Thank you google!

My first day at Yoga For Life was unforgettable. I attended my first session at Makati (near Greenbelt) at that time. A room full of boys sweating. :-) The instructor looks hot too.As a newbie, I heard terms like asanas, ashtanga, pranayam and good thing I was following a cutie-guy in front of me. I was stretching, sweating and breathing. On the latter part of the session, we did the shavasana or a corpse pose, where we were all lying on our mat, arms and legs were spread, eyes closed and deep breathing. I was able to meditate.

As thoughts tried to entered my mind like my anger, disappointments, depression, fear and uncertainty, I let them go and bring back to myself breathing. I felt the beating of my heart, and my sweat. No negative thoughts at all, and I imagined myself lying on a beach.

After a few minutes, as I opened my eyes and move little as instructed, I felt more alive and open, peaceful and relaxed. It was an amazing and best experience. BEST SWEAT and BREATHING EVER! With a bonus of HUGS from other members too.

After two months, it was my anniversary checkup test at RITM. My cd4 ( t cells) increased. Luckily, up to now, I'm still not taking any ARV. It has been two years involving myself with Yoga for Life. I feel their compassion helping everyone affected and infected. Best of all, I gained friends.

I realized and certain that a quiet mind is the foundation of inner peace. And inner peace translates into outer peace. That is why we cannot control what goes outside, but we can control what goes on inside. After all that I've been through, I'm proud to say, LIFE IS STILL REALLY GOOD TO ME. and I'm lucky that there's YFL or Yoga For Life exist! Way better than your regular gym to sweat.

"I offer you peace. I offer you love. I offer you friendship. I see your beauty. I hear your need. I feel your feelings. My wisdom flows from the Highest Source. I salute that Source in you. Let us work together for unity and love.” - Gandhi

Peace be with you :-) hugs

Your XOXO

*** The Red Ribbon in participation with Yoga For Life has 2 Yoga Classes this month of February. Please click the link below for details:

TRR Yoga Classes