Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Love Story: Love from Strangers



It was 7 months ago when I got diagnosed as positive for HIV.  I was then working overseas, living alone and independently.   My life was a living hell for almost 2 weeks.  I was all alone.  I had no one that I would like talk to.  I had no one that I could cry on.  I kept everything to myself trying to stay strong and save what’s left of me.  I knew I put myself into this and it was just right for me to fix it on my own.  
During those stressful days and sleepless nights, I was so blessed to stumble on Pozziepinoy’s  blog site.  It became my source of hope. Every article written and bits of information he shared was my source of strength to continue fighting.  His blogs entries served as my story book that calmed down my worried nerves and accompanied me to sleep every night.  He was also the first person to know that I was HIV positive.  We didn’t know each other personally but he’s been there and helped me lighten my burden.   Through emails I was able to tell him my story and he never failed to listen and email me back with advices.  With all the information from him, I was able to find myself a hub.
Getting HIV is like the new way of social networking. Through Pozziepinoy, I met (not personally) “iamsorina” whom I was able to share some information to help him with his own worries.  He was on the same I country I was.   I shared to him what I did, where to get the self-test kit and which clinic conducts anonymous testing.  And he was negative.  It was Iamsorina who then introduced me to Phil of RITM and to Poz_Angel.
Phil helped me a lot.  He is my saviour.  He assisted me when I needed to retake the HIV test as my hub won’t honor any test and confirmatory done outside Philippines.  He was there when I needed a medical certificate.  That piece of paper had saved me from going back to that country or from going missing in action.  It gave me at least the chance to have a graceful exit so that I won’t spend the rest of my life hiding and explaining to my friends and to those who knows me.
I will never forget that very nice and comforting feeling that you are finally talking to someone who is also a positive.  I never call or contacted any of my friends when I got back here but Poz_Angel was there constantly calling just to check how am I going.  He was there willing to listen to all my worries even though I’m only whispering when talking to him because my brother is on the other room and might hear me.  He will usually call after he has taken his ARV and we will chat until his drugs kicked in. 
I met a lot of twitter friends.  I met some of them in person and some by just following their tweets.  Every tweet has story of its own.  Some of them may scare you but that is the life of having HIV.   If you need something, it’s just a tweet away.
Meeting Jay_Hunter is something that I am thankful too.  During the time that I was on the process of putting my life back, he was there willing to listen.  We have different point of view and we argue sometime but I do appreciate it because I also learned from him.  I feel good every time I have given him an advice.  We are maybe busy with our work now but I know he will always be there.
To my family, I am sorry that until now I haven’t told you the reason why all of the sudden I went back home.  I know that you will stand by me even I have HIV.  I know that I’m too independent, I have lived my life the way I chose to be.  You have given me the full control - trusted and supported me with all the decisions I made.  This is my mess and I will clean this up.  I promise to take care of myself and won’t give you any problem.  Just give me some time and when I’m ready I will tell you everything about my condition.  I may be selfish but I want to stay strong and surviving by not seeing you worrying too much.  I can live the guilt that because of my careless action I got this but I won’t stand seeing anyone of you suffering because of me.


"WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
NO PLHIV is alone with his or her struggle with HIV!"

-Pozziepinoy-






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