*The End of the World - Not Really*
It was May 05, 2012 at around 8AM when the Doctor from the Diagnostic Clinic where I got tested, told me that I am HIV positive.
Ok.... I knew it... I had unprotected sex with the same sex so I just accepted the fact so easily. Yeah, true, I accepted it as if it was just a simple wound that will easily heal.
Life goes on at least for me. I didn't mind at all. I was healthy. I didn't
see any complications at all. I believed that I was perfect. So I still
continued living a life like before. I forgot about my HIV. I continued drinking, I smoked (sometimes), slept late at night, had more sex, and more fun fun fun. Sometimes I was thinking as if it was the end of the world but most of
the time I just didn't care about it.
*You don’t love your BODY? Here we come"
December 2012 was one of my strenuous month. I was drinking a lot, visited my favorite hang-out for sex and ate foods as if there was no tomorrow. One
December morning when I woke up, my neck was covered with rashes and my face was covered with pimples. I never experienced this before. Then something flashed in my mind....I MAYBE HIV positive! Was this the start of my near end journey in life? I thought I needed to do something about it. This wasn't normal anymore. My white blood cell troops I believe were saying this line, “You don't love your body? so here we come"!
"Struggling"
With all my heart, I decided to go to a treatment hub in Manila. IT WAS A
NIGHTMARE. Seeing people from all kinds of sexual orientation suffering from HIV... people who were sick, people who were covered with rashes. However, many of them looked perfectly normal...Just like me six months ago. When I was there I waited for my turn to be called. The doctor just told me that they had to check my CD4 count before moving on. She also gave me prescriptions for a lot of laboratory tests.
One week later, I came back with my CD4 results but no lab tests yet. The
doctor just told me that the CD4 was very low but they still need my lab tests
to start my treatment. My body and mind froze when she told me that I
needed to have a treatment partner. That I needed to disclose to my parents.
Struggling!
*I Love My Parents*
I am close to my parents, though they are old, they still worked for us and I
can see it. 31 years with them I saw how they fall and succeed and fall and
succeed again. I graduated from college with their help. I was one of their sons who they believed to be a "good son". I supported the family needs for so many years. But how on earth will I tell them my condition? NOT NOW...I love them and I don't want them to worry about me. Let them think of their problems and let me think of my own. I love them.
*I am not Superman*
Ok, I decided to keep my situation to myself. But.... can I support myself?
I didn't have work. I only had P3,000 left on my savings. I looked for
a diagnostic clinic and asked how much it will cost for everything. P4,500..wow I was broke... Where on earth I will get the money to support myself. God I was dying. I was stressed of too much thinking. But God was so good... I had a little home business and got so many orders. Then I had my money to start with my lab tests.
*Non- Reactive*
Jan 25, 2012. Everything on my lab tests were non reactive. I was happy that I didn't have infections yet so I had to really start on this...the faster the
better. So I decided to bring my results one Tuesday afternoon to the treatment hub. The doctor again said that my lab tests were normal. "How about your parents? your treatment partner? We need them WE WILL NOT START YOUR MEDICATION UNLESS YOU BRING THEM", the doctor said. Then things started to play in my mind. I thought, so I will bring them to the 3 sessions for another three weeks for that psychological test with my treatment partner. WHAT? I will have to wait for 3 more weeks? "No I want my medication". So I quickly decided to pull out my documents and follow the advice of bloggers or forerunners @ pozziepinoy.blogspot.com
*1 Month = 1 Day*
The courage to survive is a normal thing to us. If you want to survive you
will do everything by hook or by crook. Even though RITM was very far from
Antipolo, I woke up very early and decided to go there and try my luck for
the second time to another hub. It was not an easy way…traffic, MRT crowded and full of people and the obvious thing, that I really didn’t know where RITM in Alabang was. At exactly 9:20…Touch Down! THIS WAS RITM! What a beautiful place. Trees were so relaxing and you can say that it was a clean place…
*I love my disease*
People were so accommodating, people were so happy, people were people. One can easily laugh with them. I GOT MANY FRIENDS. People who you can share your experience. You can feel that you are really IMPORTANT TO THEM!
Waiting for 7 hours before my turn was worth it….because at last medications, the ARV’s were on my hand. Everything happened in just 10 hours!
*Second Life*
The 1 month struggle in that place was equal to 1 day at RITM-ARG…Everything went clear to me. I said to myself that this was my second life. I will love myself more. I will treat myself like a glass. I AM VERY HAPPY! I WILL LIVE A VERY LONG LIFE!
Think Postive Guys! POSITIVE plus POSITIVE is EQUAL TO POSITIVE
Thanks @pozziepinoy.blogspot.com.
13r
POZZIEPINOY’S RESPONSE
Hi 13r.
Thank you for your email. Thank you for sharing your HIV journey.
I wish that with your optimism, your immune system will rebound fast. Like most of us who are now living our normal and happy lives, we do believe that your inner strength, your different perspective in life will empower you to beat all obstacles in your journey.
Good luck and we will be here for you and cheering you on as you walk the path to a healthier you!
Stay healthy,
Pozziepinoy
"WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
NO PLHIV is alone with his or her struggle with HIV!"
-Pozziepinoy-
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