Living with HIV in the Philippines: Email 269: Scared and Coming Home!

Few days from now am going home, facing the reality that once I knew couple months ago.

I can't deny the time I've wasted, the opportunities of what should I be enjoying. I can't blame anyone, but this is the fruit of my misbehavior.

Am still scared of what life brings to me, despite of all the hardships & hardwork just to reach my goals, with a pinch of a needle everything brought to an end. Am trying to show to people that am strong, I want them to see that nothing's change, but I can't lie to myself.

Am still scared.

God Please help me.

XXX

POZZIEPINOY’S RESPONSE

Hi XXX.

I understand what you are feeling. From my own experience and from the experiences shared by my readers and friends, I know what you are going through right now. Everything becomes dark and constricted as soon as we are faced with the facts about HIV. Although you haven't disclosed your status yet in your email, I can feel your fears. I can sense that there is a huge cloud that covers the your path.

However, every cloud has a silver lining. There is hope with HIV. Great hope!

Since you are coming home, I can say that this is the best place for you to start again... with your health and with your life.

It is ok to be scared. The unknown is really a killer but the path of recovery and treatment, the road towards a better life has been walked on by a lot of people with HIV and all you have to do is to know each step of the way. Don't worry, people here will guide you and assist you. Don't worry, I will be here until you recover again.

For now, read these blog entries that had been posted here:

1. Don't Be Scared!

2. Stand Up and Live!

3. Positivism

4. I am Like You!

5. There Are Reasons To Smile

6. Everything Will Be Alright!

7. Fight With All Your Might!

8. We Are All in This Together

9. The Magic of Life

10. Yes You Can!

When you are back home, please call me at 0916-286-2066. I would like to be the person who will listen to you.