Brother Needs Help!

Posted by Pozziepinoy on 9:27 AM


My brother is suspected to have HIV he's in the ICU right now being treated for pneumonia. I have been suspecting it since late last year. He's always been very secretive with his life in fact we have no idea what kind of life he's really living although he told us that he was gay. He would always make stories that we would later find out to be lies even about his health. Anyways I started suspecting when he started to always refuse to be accompanied by my mom for check up when he's sick and lately he's always very sick.

First he developed skin rashes that he said was skin tb then just this year he had a very big mass in the neck he said it might be cancer after wards he got it removed and said it was just abscess according to the biopsy. Then he developed the skin rashes again this time it looks more severe and its not just in his arm but in the neck and face. Then after that he was diagnosed with TB. Its been 4months since his TB diagnosis and instead of recovering he extremely lost weight, his skin is dark colored already covered with sores and rashes. Recently he's been having difficulty breathing, spitting blood, diarhea and still he won't ask for help and make up stories to all of us. Until I finally talked to him and said nobody in the family can help him if he always lie. So finally now he is in the ICU due to pneumonia. When the doctors saw him the first time their immediate impression was HIV.

Now the doctors want him to be tested we all want him to be tested but he refuses. The hospital needs his consent and he won't give it. The doctors are asking us, his family to convince him we still cant. I think he's in denial and he still thinks he can lie to all of us. What he's telling us is that he knows his body and its not HIV.

It pains me because its my mom and aunt who is relying on pension alone who is paying for everything. Even with his job he was lying to us he made us believe that he has one but it appears he has no job and no money. We're not rich, we're just regular people.

I just wanna ask, if we can't really convince him to take the test can a counselor talk to him? Is that possible? If so what are the steps to take?

I hope you can help. Thanks.

concerned family


Hi concerned family.

Thank you for your email. Thank you for sharing your brother's situation and how your family is concerned about him.

We have experienced people who are still hard headed and would not want to get tested even though they are very sick. Some really believed that they will be judged rather than be helped. However, families are there to support and of course they don't want their family member to suffer and them b e left very helpless in dealing with the situation.

I would like to help your brother personally. He really is in grave condition right now and I can personally talk to him and will try my very best to convince him to take the HIV test. Please email me your contact number at so I can communicate immediately with any of your family members.