HIV Disclosure

When I got sick with pneumonia and was diagnosed with HIV, the first thing that came to my mind was to tell my siblings and my parents. I felt that I needed to do that so I can focus on my health. I knew it will be a burden to them knowing that I acquired my serious and incurable illness but I had to do it to unload something from my mind and my heart. I never even thought if they would accept me or not afterwards but I knew, that because of our strong relationship, that they would understand. Well, they did. 

It was straight to the point. I was strong. No tears came from my eyes. I watched them fathom everything I said and clearly I saw from their faces the concern. But like me, they stood strong for me. No questions asked but they showed genuine love and support.

That was 11 months ago and up to now I still tell others to disclose their HIV status to their loved ones. I advice people to take their time though and get the right opportunity to tell them. The right recipe for it is the full acceptance of the person’s status before he can tell others about it. He should be strong enough and knowledgeable enough to answer all their questions.

If you have parents whom you have a good relationship with, I tell you, disclosing to them can actually lead to an even stronger relationship. Of course, what you're telling them is unhappy news, yet the most common experience is that most seem to find that their parents (and other family members) want to know.

They're likely to be concerned about your future. You may find yourself educating them about HIV, as well as giving them emotional support. As they come to see that you're getting on with your life, and that your life is still good, their anxieties are likely to ease. Realistically, you also have to consider that if your relationship with them in the past has been less than ideal, this news may further strain relations, at least for a while.

General family disclosure tips to consider:

1. Keep what you say as simple and as direct as possible. Don’t beat around the bush. Be honest and truthful.

2. Tell them why you want them to know. It is best to tell them all the reasons why you need to tell them about your status

3. Offer to answer any questions they may have. This maybe the greatest opportunity for you to educate them about your HIV status and about the disease itself.

4. Let them know they don't have to worry about your health. Tell them your plans in  having a healthy life. Tell them about your hub, your medicines and your HIv doctors.

5. Ask them to be there for you. tell them that you need their support.

6. Tell them how much they mean to you and how much you love them. Blood is thicker than water and no matter what it is important to tell them that you love them that is why you are telling them your HIv status

7. Particularly if the family is a close one, consider how you would feel if someone in your family was in your situation or a similar one and chose not to tell you about it.

8. Don't be afraid to show your feelings and to express how important this issue is for you. If you need to cry, do so. However it is also be best to show how strong you are in tackling the disease that you have.

Always remember that the key element with disclosure is your readiness. Take your time and do it in the most opportune time.

Watch this video about  HIV Disclosure

You can email me at pozziepinoy@yahoo.com if you have questions about disclosure. I am no expert but I learn from the advices of all my good HIV doctors.