I just found out that I am HIV positive last March 10th, 2013 in a mass testing in Malate Manila. Me and my partner of one year thought it was the responsible thing to do.
We were both very confident that the results would be negative for both of us because we always practice safe sex. But when I found out that we were both positive... It felt like i just received my death sentence.
I cried like there was no tomorrow for a week, even people at my workplace were startled to see me that way (I would burst into tears all of a sudden) because I am always very lively.
The shock that I have felt at the time was incomparable. I would try to forget by watching a comedy films and laugh my heart out... But the moment I remember that I have this condition, my smile would fade away and then more tears would flow.
And then there was the panic. I suddenly became aware of ALL of the sensations that I felt in my body. Every small pain felt like a ticking time bomb.
XXX
POZZIEPINOY’S RESPONSE
Hi XXX.
Thank you for your email. Thank you for finding the blog. I wish that you can find the strength to face your new journey in the articles and stories here. That really is the purpose of the blog.
Let me tell you first that I am proud of you both for taking the test and being responsible to yourselves. It really takes a lot of courage to do it, to know one's HIV status. It is more courageous, however, when you are taking it in a mass testing, with you guys showing up with multitude of people getting the test at the same time.
I understand what you are feeling right now. The reality of knowing that you are HIV positive is overwhelming. Ideas start to creep in your mind. Fear of the unknown start to envelop your whole being.
However, there is no way to go but forward. The future of your health relies on you focusing on the things that you need to do now and I am telling you that the road of your new journey has been paved to you by those who have previously walked on it. All you have to do is to follow the same path. It is easier now to do it because you will be guided on each step that you are going to make. You will not be alone, I tell you. People who are unknown to you will be willing to assist you as long as you will take the first steps.
I know, it is easier said than done but every step that you are going to do from now on should be with the conviction that everything will be alright. You need to think positive all the time. You need to put in your mind that there is hope of a good future for you even with HIV.
I need you to start reading these past blog posts to somehow empower you on your new journey.
3. Positivism
9. Fight With All Your MightFor your next steps, you can read these entries:
4. Next Steps?
13. Choosing Hub
I also want you to start focusing on your health. This is now your priority. While waiting for the cure, we all need to make sure that our bodies are prepared for it.
4. Above 350
No time to look back, XXX. Focus now on the things that you need to do. Read, learn and listen to the advices given to you and start walking forward towards the path of good health. I know you can do it!
Stay healthy,
Pozziepinoy
"WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
NO PLHIV is alone with his or her struggle with HIV!"
-Pozziepinoy-
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Tags: HIV Manila, HIV Philippines, AIDS Manila, AIDS Philippines, HIV/AIDS Manila, HIV/AIDS Philippines