To God Be All The Glory!

Posted by Pozziepinoy on 11:52 PM

I would like to share my experience within the past few days... I always wanted to share my experiences on my blogs but I guess I want to be anonymous. Here it goes:

I praise and thank God for all that He has done for me. Truly God is an awesome God. I always say that God is merciful; yet, a righteous God. I have experienced His righteousness and mercy at the same time.

For a period of more than a month, I experienced paranoia about my health. I googled the signs and symptoms of my possible condition. Taking every site of the web as my doctor in charge who was diagnosing my possible health status. I consider those days as my little paranoia. Reflecting on the sins I did in the past, and calculating the days of the occurrence became my routine in that span of time. During the days of my little paranoia, I couldn't believe that every minute and every hour of my days are my quiet time with The Lord. I can consider those days as my best intimate moments with Him.

The second of September was the day that paranoia came to worse. I woke up with chills and heavy perspiration. Although I don't have high fever, I was so worried about my health. Scenarios of what will happen and the picture of death arises. It was the three letter condition that makes my paranoia came to heightened. All the possibilities of what if's arises. It seems that my remaining days are numbered. A death sentence so to speak. I was then ready to tell and reveal to my parents about my paranoia. It was six in the morning when I started asking if they can accompany me to have a test. I started crying while telling them all about my past and the possibilities of my condition. I can vividly remember my mother asking me, "Anak, anong nangyari sa'yo?" (My child, what happened to you?). She was in full tears; so was I. It was in my surprise that my father was telling me about God. He stated that God will never leave my side as long as I seek Him. I do apologized and said I love you to them a lot of times. Afterwards, we rushed to TMC-IREACT to relieve my worries. But along the way, I never noticed the heavy traffic and quietness of the cab. I was intimately having my Quiet Time.

Upon our arrival at the hospital, it was funny that we had a hard time locating the center. It was at the mezzanine of the emergency room where no one could ever notice anybody going up. I guess only for those employees who know what's up there. An accommodating and hospitable nurse welcomed me inside the room. It was nurse "Tinay" who explained everything. She was even courteous to ask me if I want my parents to be inside the room. I told her that it would be best to discuss everything with them. During that talk, I've never felt so left out nor afraid about everything. She made me feel that whatever the result is, I should be ready. She even told us the duration of waiting for the result and it's process, just in case.

The time has come to extract what they have to extract from me. While heading towards the biohazard room, I call upon Jesus to hold and carry me. I never imagined it'll gonna be that much of blood they have to extract from me. Nurse Tinay told me that I have to wait for a day or two for the results. That freaked me out. This isn't my first time to have this test. The first test I had, I got the result after almost 2 hours. Now she's telling me to wait for couple of days.

After the extraction, came the waiting time. I considered it as the most crucial times of waiting. My mother assured me that whatever the result is, we'll just have to accept it. However, she reiterated to keep on praying and ask that the result will be negative. That brought me to tears as soon as we arrived home. I was weeping and so down on my knees. I even ask God to help me accept whatever the result will be.

The third of September was the scheduled check-up of my father on the same hospital; and was also hoping for the same scheduled release of my test. We woke up early to avoid traffic on EDSA. My mother assures me that whatever happens they'll always be on my side. Not a single moment lapse that I never talk to Jesus. I've always asked Him to help me accept whatever His will for me. I even said that I'll praise Him whether the result is positive or negative.

A Psalm of David was my weapon on this dilemma I had. It was Psalm 23 changed my thoughts about what will happen. It was the fourth verse that struck me the most: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me." In my heart, I am saved and healed by Jesus. Whether on this earth I'm not, but I know deep in my heart I was healed. I learned to forgive myself, as it was the key to move on and continue with what is left.

Upon going up to that shallow stairs and reaching the door, nurse Tinay waved and signaled us to wait. When she opened the door, she smiled and said that the result is ready for pick up. I don't know why she could be that courteous and accommodating with a great smile she's wearing during that time. Along the way, she assured me that it'll gonna be ok; which I know it will, though the results might not turn just right. She even told me the probabilities why the result was fast; but I wasn't paying attention. As soon as I opened the envelope, tears fell into my eyes. I hugged my mother and told her how much I love her. I know by then the reason why nurse Tinay greeted me that way. We prayed and praised God for everything. We were all crying that time, I just don't know if nurse Tinay was too. I hugged and said my I love you to my father, who was waiting outside, as soon as we went out of the receiving area.

I will always be grateful and prayerful because of this event of my life. Furthermore, I would want to erase the stigma about that viral condition. It's not a death sentence. What makes it a deathbed is the stigma that people put it in. My prayer saga will never cease for those people who needs my prayers. Most specially to somebody whose story didn't end the way my story ended.

To God Be All The Glory!

PS: Any body can send in their prayer concerns through my email I will gladly entertain and include all prayer concerns in my Quiet Time.

Romans 8:37