Confused!
Posted by Pozziepinoy on 4:06 PM
sir, last year june, i knew na may hiv ako.., d ko po alam ang gagawin,d ko rin masabi sabi sa mga magulang ko.... seafarer ako sir, d ko na alam ang gagawin sir... bacolod po ako....
XXX
TRANSLATION
Sir, last year in June, I knew that I have HIV... I don't know what to do.. I can't tell my parents.. I am a seafarer. I don't know what to do sir.. I'm from Bacolod (City).
XXX
POZZIEPINOY’S RESPONSE
Hi XXX.
Thank you for your email. Thank you for searching and finding the blog.
The hardest part after the HIV test is accepting the fact that one has HIV. Everything seems to crash. Every dream seem to be shattered. Every hope seemed to disappear.
The people who Project Red Ribbon had helped before, all experienced what you are experiencing, XXX. It is normal to experience that. It is a process that one has to undergo until one finally accepts his or her condition.
A lot of people who got recently diagnosed experienced some form of depression and confusion. Questions like, "what will happen to me?", "who will love me?", "will my family accept me?", "will I die?", "can I still reach my dreams and ambitions?", rise up.
These questions can be answered by facts and accepting these facts lead to resolution of all doubts and concerns.
Fact #1: One with HIV can live a normal life.
Life expectancy is long with people living with HIV. Those who have been diagnosed in the 80's and are still taking their ARV's religiously are still living normal lives, have relationships, are employed, and are happy.
Fact #2. One can have personal relationships even with HIV.
It is all about empowerment and trust. Love transcends beyond the disease. Establish the trust by disclosing one's status fast. Love without conditions. Respect one another. Sexual intercourse needs to be with condom all the time and this doesn't degrade one's being. No need to be scared as long as both parties know their own limitations.
Fact #3. Acceptance takes time but it happens.
Like what we always tell those who the Project Red Ribbon had helped, allow your family to love you back by disclosing when you are ready. Tell them you love them and you need their support during the time that you need them. Some family members would get mad, but let them be. Later on, they will accept it.
Of course there were instances that PLHIV get evicted because their family can't accept them. That is still understandable as they are hurt. That is why we encourage to slowly disclose, first to a family member who is close to the person and slowly reach out to the rest.
Acceptance takes time. Just take it easy. Some start with their HIV journey alone and when they are okay, when they are back to their normal lives, they tell their families.
It is a case to case basis. Some even ask their doctors or TRR counselors to talk to their families so the impact can be contained with factual information.
Fact #4. There is life after HIV.
No doubt that people with HIV live normal lives. It is a fact that people living with HIV can reach their dreams and land their dream jobs. Filipinos who want to work abroad can do so except in Singapore and the middle east countries (muslim countries for that matter). Getting a job in our country is not hard as there is an HIV Law (RA 8504) to protect the rights of employees with HIV or those who are still applying for jobs.
XXX, to erase all doubts and concerns is to take the first steps on your new HIV journey. Schedule a consultation with an HIV doctor in the HIV and AIDS treatment hub near you. Talk to our counselors. Attend the TRR support group talks and listen to the stories of your new brothers and sisters. Attend the TRR programs so that you will feel empowered. Attend self-empowerment trainings.
Information is very important. Back read the posts here in the blog and website as it contains all personal stories and factual information about treatment, acceptance and about HIV and AIDS here in the country. By getting informed, you will erase all doubts. You will feel that you are okay.
Like most of those we have assisted, you will soon be okay. Take the steps in moving forward and face your fears. Trust me, you will soon feel happy again.
I hope I was able to answer your concerns. Feel free to email me again if you have other questions.
Stay healthy,
Pozziepinoy
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If you want to join a private HIV support group in Facebook, please add our Online Care Manager, Tomasito Ang Suta, or our Program Coordinator, Keren Augustin C. Blances and request to be added in the group. We have a lot of PLHIV, counselors, HIV doctors, advocates and supporters who you can talk to.
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