The Past and My Future...

Posted by Pozziepinoy on 7:59 AM
Hi,

dko alam saan mag sisimula...im 28 2 lang naging serious relationship  
ko....ung una after 4 years nag hiwalay kame, nag pa test ako kasama friend  
ko and negative ung result.......after 3 month nainlove ako sa lalaking  
magbabago ng buhay ko...... nung una ko syang nakilala parang im so into  
him hes ver good looking, mabait and he will tell good all stories bout his  
life.......nung nag live in na kme may isang pangyayari na im regretting  
talaga...nag sex kame ng walang condom just once....after two weeks nagka  
lagnat ako for no reason sobrang pumayat ako non tapos naging ok ako after  
that.......don palang alam ko na HIV yon kc every year supposed to be ako  
magpapatest ung year lang yon ang natakot ako kc nafefeel ko n i am  
positive.....habang tumatagal marami akong nalaman sa BF ko na taliwas sa  
mga sinasabi nya sa akin noon..in short lier sya...........sabi nya sakin  
hnd daw sya nag babar pero nung pumunta kame sa BED malate halos lahat ng  
BI kilala sya kaya natakot na ako noon....at nung hiniwalayan ko sya  
sobrang away namin kc sinisisi ko sya na binigyan nya ako ng AIDS kahit dpa  
ako nagpapatest..........sabi nya "research ka ng research about AIDS may  
AIDS ka kc kaya mo yan ginagawa" sabi ko " ikaw ang nagbigay sa akin nito  
kc ung pwet mo may Warts na hindi ko pa alam anu ung warts that  
time..............

after ng pag aaway namin....nag move on na ako...inassume ko na HIV  
POSITIVE ako kaya nahihirapan na akong makipag date o mag tiwala sa iba kc  
ayaw kong maging giver..........In the course of two years the only symtom  
that I have is persistent warts and super kati ng singit ko na wala namang  
anything...............nung nag aral ako ng 3 buwan sa ibang bansa  
nilalagyan ko lang ng apple cider vinegar at ung hot shower inaano ko sa  
pwet ko para mawala ang kati kc sobrang kati talaga......ung external anal  
warts e nawala lang ng mga 3 buwan nung consitent zit bath at ginawa  
ako.........pero lumipat ito sa loob ng pwet ko kaya mahirap syang  
mapugsa.....dito palang alam na alam ko na na positive ako kaya sobrang  
ingat na ingat nako sa health ko at thank GOD d ako nag kasakit sa loob ng  
2 taon..........
kanina 05/09/14 I had di courage na mag pa test na talga sa after gym  
pumunta ako ng RITM malate para mag pa test at POSITIVE nga ang result..d  
ako na shock o umiyak kc ineexpect ko na e....all i can do is accept it at  
sinabi ko na agad sa bestfriend ko pag dating ng  
bahay.......................
ang kinatatakutan ko lang e ung rashes na maaring lumabas sakin at mapansin  
ng officemates ko......im a CPA po.....at sa linya ng trabaho ko subsub ka  
sa work bawal mag leave ng matagal kc napepending ung work at madaming  
ganap.....
kanina ko lang nalaman ung resulta dko alam if malulungkot ba ko o ano bang  
nararamdaman ko kc d ako umiyak or nag drama...ang sakin lang e if ill die  
i want to have investments na maipapamana ko..........
sa monday pupunta ako sa RITM alabang para gawin ung mga stuff na  
kailangang gawin............
naiisip ko lang napaka unfair lang bat ko nakuha to sa isang walang  
kwentang lalake lang na undergrad :-( napaka bobo ko......napaka  
stupido.....dko kayang sabihin ito sa parents ko kc ayaw kong malungkot  
sila at maisip nila na im such a dissapointment.
gusto ko sanang sumali sa support group ninyo.........
enlighten me if papaano ako makakasali.
salamat

Omar

POZZIEPINOY’S RESPONSE

Hi Omar.

Thank you for your email. Thank you for sharing your story and experience with me and my readers.

Sometimes it really hurts when a relationship ends with trust issues. More so, with a virus being transmitted to you because you really trusted the person you have loved in the past. 
But let the past remain in the past, learn from the mistakes and get on with your life. Just focus on the things that you will face today in the future.

I am glad that you took the HIV test, instead of just assuming that you have the disease. Most people tend to forget that having unprotected sex or having sexually transmitted diseases may also lead to the possibility of contracting HIV. Many even, take the HIV test when it is too late, when they already have a lot of infections caused by a weakened immune system due to HIV. Taking the HIV test then, is one of the greatest decisions you made in your life. Now you you are heading to your new journey to a better health. 

You said you are going to RITM-ARG next week. You may want to contact our Care Manager Gerald at 0917-899-0473 if you would like to be assisted there. He can also tell you how to join The Project Red Ribbon, our advocacy and support group.

I hope I was able to answer your concerns. Feel free to email me again if you have other questions.


Stay healthy,
Pozziepinoy






"WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
NO PLHIV is alone with his or her struggle with HIV!"

-Pozziepinoy-



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