Monday, September 10, 2012

Email 47 : Do I have HIV?

Note: Letter is in the original Tag-Lish format. I will post a summary of the letter and my response in my next post. The letter is with permission to post in my blog.

Hi Pozziepinoy,

Nabasa ko yung blog mo regarding LIVING with HIV/AIDS in the PHILIPPINES due to my curiosity regarding the signs and symptoms of HIV/AIDS, I'm having problems kasi with my health now and I don't know what to do kaya I'm doing my research sa net. By the way, I'm "Superman", XXX years old and I'm living in XXX . I must admit I'm gay, but only a few people ang nakakaalam ng sexuality ko, hindi ko masabi yun sa family ko, since my dad is a XXX and kilala ang pamilya namin; XXX din ako sa family, though may hint na sila that I'm gay, still wala pa ring confirmation from me about that, dahil natatakot ako sa maaring pwedeng mangyari o mabago pag inamin ko sa kanila what is my real sexuality since I know my father very well.


My reason for sending you an e-mail is to ask for your help or advice regarding my condition. I had lots of unprotected sex before when I started working last XXX, both anal and oral. I'm the one being fucked and the blower. I'm the bottom ika nga. When I started to get involved with unprotected sex, kung anu-ano na ang nangyari sa body ko, I had hepa-A, allergies, fungal infections and urinary tract infections. Somewhere in XXX, I had this incident na lagi akong nahihilo, di makakain dahil ang bigat ng stomach ko at pakiramdam ko lagi akong busog and usually have mouth sores. I had a check-up with my internist at XXX hospital before and I had a lab test and it shows a little decrease on my lymphocytes count. I had a research on the internet regarding the reasons bakit bumababa ang lymphocytes count, and a major reason is depressed immune system which is common sa mga may HIV/AIDS. I was in depression that time kasi yung ibang mga symptoms ng HIV/AIDS ay nangyayari sakin though di pa ko 100% sure kung may HIV/AIDS ba ako. So to stop the agony, I had an HIV test in PGH last XXX and the result is non-reactive. I was so happy then...but I didn't learn from my mistakes...

After being free with the nightmare of the possibility of having HIV/AIDS, hindi pa din ako natuto. I'm still sexually active and having unprotected sex; mostly oral, but what I'm worrying about is the people whom I had anal sex with. As far as I can remember, there were 2 bisexuals and 2 straight guys whom I had anal sex with, all of them were unprotected.

During the last quarter of year XXX, I had this experience na hilong-hilo ako. I had a check-up with an internist and after having some lab tests, the doctor found out that I have high level of bad cholesterol and trace of UTI. She prescribed some medicines including antibiotics. After 2 weeks, I had a lab test and the trace of UTI was gone, so I stop taking antibiotics, but 2 weeks after, dun ko naramdaman na nahihirapan akong umihi, so I went back to my internist, and had a lab test again, and found out I have UTI. So she gave me a different antibiotics then for 2 weeks; after which, the UTI was gone. I thought that will be the end of my problem, but until after taking the antibiotics, I started having sore throat & boils on different parts of my body, including my head. Although they appear one at a time, still they are recurring boils, ilang antibiotics din ang ininom ko, pero lahat yung hindi umepekto, until I had a second opinion at XXX hospital and the doctor prescribed me this medicine which is suited for MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus) together with Mupirocin, luckily those medicines cured me after XXX of this year.

I was curious then bakit ako nagkaroon ng recurring boils. Again, I had a research and found out that major factor is depressed immune system which is again common sa mga taong infected ng HIV/AIDS, I'm thinking of the possibility na infected na talaga ako, pero after gumaling ako dun sa recurring boils ko, hindi ko na ulit inisip yun.


Early this year, I had these warts appeared on my right armpit, I don't know why I had them but the doctor said baka nakuha ko lang daw yun sa swimming or towels na nagamit ko...So I need to have them cautherized.

Last May of this year, our company had a little field trip. Nakagat ako ng mga insekto dun, which lead me to have itchy skin on my legs, since yun ang exposed kaya yung ang kinagat maigi ng mga lamok. Nagamot naman sya after consulting a dermatologist, but when we went back sa same event after 2 months, yung arms ko naman ang kinagat maigi ng mga lamok. I got this big red itchy bumps on my skin. This time I didn't go to my derma since I already know what to do. Nawala nga yung mga big red itchy bumps sa shoulders ko, pero may mga tumubo namang pimple-like bumps sa magkabilang shoulders ko, di naman sya makati, pero may times na nangangati ako tapos biglang may tutubong bump sa skin ko. Actually pati yung legs ko nangangati din minsan tapos may makikita ka na lang tumutubong maliliit at mapupulang pantal. I had these checked with different dermas, madami na din akong ginamit na topical creams/ointments and ininom na antibiotics kasi ang diagnosis ng derma is acne, pero hindi siya mawala-wala, eventually nangangati pa din at dumadami naman yung pimple-like bumps sa shoulders ko. So I decided to have a research, and I have this feeling na SCABIES ang problema ko since yung mga symptoms as mga pix na nakita ko sa net e halos kamukha nung nasa balat ko. So I went to the first derma that I have consulted with, and she said that SCABIES is one of the possibilities she have on her mind, she gave me some medications na sisimulan ko pa lang today, hopefully it will work for me.

According sa research ko, ang scabies sa adult can be a sexually tansmitted disease. I don't know kung kanino ako nahawa if ever man na nakuha ko sya through sex, since by the time na lumabas sya sa skin ko, puro oral sex lang ang mga ginawa ko nun.

But the problem did not stop there. Last week, I started to have an episode of headaches na may kasamang hilo, pakiramdam ko para akong masusuka, I took ZERC nad had some sleep, nag subside ng konti yung hilo ko, pero hindi talaga sya totally nawala. I had a check up with an internist, and she gave me this medicine for the meantime that I should take before I go to sleep, it's actually for vertigo, kaya lang nung ininom ko yun, paggising ko sobrang hinang-hina ang pakiramdam ko at lambot na lambot ang pakiramdam ko, kelangan ko pa naman pumasok at night since I work as a XXX. Tinigil ko na yun, and I will just get the result of my CBC etc. tests later to know what is really happening to me. Pansin ko din na nagiging makakalimutin ako nitong mga nakaraan.

Ask ko lang Pozziepinoy, have you experienced the same symptoms? I mean kung naranasan mo din ba ang mga sakit na yan? Tingin ko kasi HIV positive na ako ngayun at unti-unti na nasisira yung immune system ko kaya ako nagkakaganito. Actually hinahanda ko na din ang sarili ko sa posibilidad na positive nga ako, kasi I'm really sexually active and involved sa unprotected sex. The last time I had unprotected sex was just last week with a straight guy before I experienced the terrible headache; sya din yung naka sex ko lang a month ago.

Kung sakaling magpapa test ako, may centers ba na accessible dito sa XXX wherein I can have the test confidentially? Iniisip ko kasi na bumalik sa PGH at dun na lang ulit magpa test, kaya lang it will take 2 weeks bago ko makuha yung result and it's not that accessible for me, since sa XXX pa ako nakatira, and they are only open during weekdays, which hindi ko kaya mapuntahan din since I work on weeknights and just free during weekends. The most convenient and accessible for me would be Alabang. Is there a center/hospital/hub there na pwede akong magpacheck? How much ang pagpapa HIV test? and pwede na ba akong magpa check kahit ang last unprotected sex ko was last week or a month lang? Kaya lang matagal na din akong nagkakaroon ng kung anu-anung sakit eh, baka kasi positive na din ako matagal na.

And if ever positive ang result ng test, ARV lang ba ang dapat kong i-take or may iba pa? Libre ba ang mga gamot? Natatakot ako na hindi ko kaya ang gastos for that kung hindi sya free, dahil may pinupundar din ako sa ngayun. May tao ba ako na pwedeng malapitan na pwede mag-assist sa akin when I have the test? Kanino ako hihingi ng tulong kung positive ako? Sino ang pwede kong kausapin na pwedeng makatulong sa akin para hindi lumala ang sakit ko?

Pwede mo ba akong itext sa XXX  if ever you replied sa e-mail ko na ito, I'm really looking forward for your response Pozziepinoy. I hope u don't mind na din para magkaroon din ako ng taong makakausap when I'm in need of help or advise? Please...I hope this will not be a bother for you.

Pasensya na kung ang haba ng e-mail ko, gusto ko lang malaman mo yung lahat ng pinagdaanan ko nitong mga nakalipas na taon at sana masagot mo lahat ng mga katanungan ko, sorry for asking too much...magulo na din kasi ang isip ko sa ngayun. Natatakot ako, pero hinahanda ko na din ang sarili ko. Alam kong ipagtatabuyan ako ng pamilya ako especially my dad pag nalaman nya na may HIV/AIDS ako. Please help me and give me advise :(


Superman



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2 comments:

  1. I feel like in the same shoe! My grandmother (in my case) can't accept this fact that I am one of the PLHIV. You can let him not know about this but you can let your trusted friends to know about this. They really can help you in this matter. For the first few weeks of encountering that you are positive, you might think of suicidal attempts, distress, depression etc. It isn't healthy! Find a friend. You have at least one I'm sure.

    By the way, Superman, would you care to share what you have been using when you have "scabies". I suppose that I have it..

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi. can someone talk to me dhl natatakot nako na baka my HIV din ako :'(

    ReplyDelete