Email 516: Do What You Think is Right!

Posted by Pozziepinoy on 7:27 AM
Hey, pozziepinoy

First of, thank you so much for setting up this very helpful and informative blog, surely people like me full of questions found sanctuary in this archive of informations you have patiently organized.

Anyways, i just found out my partner is HIV+ and immediately had my testing luckily I"m negative....we never had sex for 2 months since I'm away for a seminar.....Definitely while i'm away, he fooled around unprotected...didn't bother to bring it up cause he was so devastated and don't want to add insult to injury with his current condition.

Now, I'm torn between having my self secured and being part of his support system.  I lost my love for him when i found out he fooled around when I'm away while I stayed faithful to him during our 3 yrs relationship.

But don't want to abandon him with his medical condition.  Just want to pick your mind on this situation of ours.

Thanks so much and More Power to this site!




Hi AnJ.

Thank you for your email.

I understand where you are coming from and it is really hard. But do what you think is right.

Having HIV in the beginning is really tough on someone and the newly diagnosed would really need a strong support system to get through it. Acceptance of the disease is the first obstacle. The guilt of doing irresponsible sometimes clouds one mind and would lead to depression, fear, hatred and sometimes self inflicting actions. However with a strong support system, with family, loved ones and friends around, this can be overcome. This paves the way for better treatment of HIV and for the person to start living again productively and successfully despite having HIV.

I know you lost your love for your partner because of his betrayal, but at this time, just be a friend to a person in need. Just think of the good old 3 years that you have been together so that you can hold his hand and offer your shoulder to lean on, without judgment or remorse. Just be there for him at this moment, help him accept his disease and be there at this time that he needs someone he can trust. Just be a good person as he first deals with his disease and treatment and not focus on what irresponsible actions he has done.

You are at the crossroad. Either you leave your ex partner or be there for him. Use your heart and do the right thing.

I hope I was able to answer your concerns. Feel free to email me again if you have other questions.

Stay healthy,

NO PLHIV is alone with his or her struggle with HIV!"


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