Email 356: Another Worried OFW

Mr. Pozziepinoy,

i would like to seek for your advice regarding with my condition now...sir sa 220 lng po sobrang takot ang nrrmadaman ko sa ngaun..khit n  dpa nmn ako cgurado na positive nga po ako...but i have those symtoms for about a week nrin, until now dpa din po ako ngppunta ng hospital mhirap ang sitwasyon po dto sa abroad kung sakaling gnun nga amg mging result. im 25 yrs.old sir pozzie ang daming pangarap lalo n sa pamilya ko akala ko ako ang bread winner ng pamilya pero ndi pla nttkot ako sa posibleng mngyari sa isang iglap mwwla lhat ng pangarap ko sa buhay..opo npka negatibo ko mgisip, sumagi nrin po sa isip ko ng kung sakali man...ang naiisip ko nlng n dhilan ay ang mag suicide..auko npo kc bigyan pa ng problema ang pamilya ko ...hirap n kmi sa buhay tas madadagdagan pa at ako pa ang dhilan...sir sa tingin nyo po b mas ok n dto nako mag pacheck o uuwi nlng  ako ng pinas?? problema ko padin po kc ndi pa tpus ang contract ko bka isa ko png bbyran un pag ngkataon sir...sir hindi ko po alam ang ggwin ko..

Salamat po......

XXX

TRANSLATION

Hi Mr. Pozziepinoy.

I would like to seek for your advice regarding with my condition now. Sir, to be honest with you I am so scared with what I am feeling right now. Even though I am not sure yet that I am really positive, I feel I have it because because of the symptoms that I am having for about a week now. up to now I haven't gone to the hospital yet.  My situation is hard as I am working abroad if in case the result will be positive. I', 25 years old, Sir Pozzie. I have a lot of dreams especially for my family. I thought I will be the bread winner of the family but if in case I won't be anymore. I was thinking of committing suicide. I really don't want to give my family more problems. We are having financial difficulties and more problems may arise all because of me. Sir, do you think it would be best for me to take the test here or should I come back to the Philippines? My problem is my contract has not ended yet and I was worrying that I will be paying for it just in case. Sir, I really don't know what to do.

Thank you very much.

XXX

POZZIEPINOY'S RESPONSE

Hi XXX.

Thank you for your email. Thank you for finding the blog.

I can feel your situation right now. I know it is scary as you think about your future, your responsibilities and your family in case you are positive. However, as long as you have not taken the test yet, you won't know if you have it or not based on what you are feeling or based on the symptoms that you have right now. Only the HIV test will determine if you have it or not, period.

Please don't think negative of yourself. I know now you feel you have it because you may have been exposed before but there is a 50% chance that you don't have it. Please focus on what you can control. Over thinking, over researching won't do you any good. 

If I were you, just take the test. If the country that you are working in right now is not too sensitive to people with HIV, then by all means take it now. If you know that there is discrimination there, just come home for a short visit and take the test here. 

Let me enlighten you with HIV here in the Philippines. HIV is not a death sentence anymore. Here in the country, ARV's (HIV medicines) are free as well as the consultation of HIV doctors coming from the hub. The lab tests required to be enrolled in the treatment hubs are not that expensive. Also, there is no HIV discrimination here in the country and the HIV test is not a requirement for employment. 

Having said all of these, HIV is not an obstacle. It is what we think about HIV that makes us not reach our dreams, not to be fulfilled with our jobs, and not to help provide to our families. Being a Filipino, I know you are resilient. I know you can surpass this. All you need to do is to do what I told you to do and trust me when I said that everything will be ok.

I hope I was able to answer your concerns. Please email me again if you have other questions.

Stay healthy,

Pozziepinoy