Being Positive

I know I will get well soon. That is my attitude. I don't care how fast, but I know I will get there and I will get well. I have a lifetime to wait. But while I am waiting, I need to help myself. I need to strengthen my immune system. I need to do my part in helping to heal myself.

My weight has gone up to 170 pounds. Everybody's noticing it. Everybody's saying I am fat. I don't care. Here in the country if you're fat it is almost equivalent to being healthy. Well, not to me. If only they know why I wanted to gain weight. It's because of the notion that every HIV person will lose weight. I prepared myself for this so I tried fighting it by eating. Now I feel like I am about to explode. This is not healthy anymore.

Yesterday, I started to workout hard again. I am always into fitness so I know what I should do. I started to lift my previous weights in the gym and boy, I never felt that I lost my strength. I still can lift heavy. After leaving the gym, I felt good. Good, in the sense that I feel alive. I am back.

I want to go back to 150 again, go back to my good physique before. Although I like my current weight now. I just wish I am bulky with muscles again. I know that it is possible if I work hard for it. It's just a matter of time. I will just workout hard and do cardio but will try to lessen my carbs one more time.

What I know is that I love myself more now that I got the virus. I know my limitations but I know my great potentials as a person. I know I can help and I know I have an advocacy in life. I know the people who genuinely love me and I am grateful for that. I am also grateful that I am alive and my mission in life is to pay forward.

Being positive has done wonders in me. I know if you just change your attitude, you will feel the same way too.

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