How To Stay Positive!

Two days ago, Miguel (not his real name) who just found out that he is positive messaged me. He told me that he felt hopeless, that he wanted to end it all. He hasn't told anybody yet including his family. He was really down. I started communicating with him through text, giving him positive ideas, giving him hope. He was responsive. I answered all his questions about medicines, about the treatment, about the use of PhilHealth. I gave directions to the hubs. I answered all his queries. I listened to him. I told him that everything will be alright and he needs to focus on his health from now on. I told him that I already asked prayers from all the other pozzies that I know and he was grateful.


Our predicament is so great as soon as we find out that we are positive with the virus. Then what? Things flood our brains, mostly negative things. Will they do us good? Hell no. We first all all eradicate them and start to look ahead. Let's all be realistic. There is hope. There is treatment. Medicines are free. There are people who can help.


I found this article from WikiHow. Miguel, this is for you and for those people who are lost and down because of our disease:


1. Know Yourself. The most common reason why people think their lives suck is that they aren't living their own lives. Look deeply into whether you are acting to please others - to please family, friends and society. Realize that you need to get to know who you are and what your needs are, and make the choices to follow your own path. To know these things, a path of meditation and inner exploration is invaluable. This also comes to aid if you lose interest in things.


When you find out that you have HIV/AIDS, you have to accept it by accepting yourself first and fast. You need to get well and to do that you need to tell your loved ones for support and understanding.


2. Look Within. Ask yourself. What are the qualities you have that you like about yourself? Are you funny? Are you intelligent? Are you sincere? Are you generous? What do you have pride in? Try focusing on the positive things in your life. You maybe having a positive influence on others even when you think you're useless.


Most people living with our disease got depressed the first time they got their result. Some thought that it was the end of their lives, some even though of ending it. Always remember that you are important. All you have to do is to look inside and see your true value.


3. Prove those negative thoughts wrong. When you find yourself in a bad mood, you could think of the negative things such as, "I'm dumb and annoying", "I'm better off dead", "I'm stupid", etc. Even though it's not true. Change your mind. Look for your good features, think about the ones that you know love you, look on your greater side. Realize that nobody's life is easy and that there will always be ups and downs, and moments of low self esteem. Don't automatically assume that nobody cares. Every person matters to someone. You're alive for a reason.


It's easier to think of all the bad things that we have done when we are down. Control your thoughts. Instead of pulling yourself downwards , try to slowly spiral up and think of good things. Your mind can produce all bad things but it is also capable of greater and positive thoughts.


4. Appreciate What You See. Look in the mirror. Find some beautiful things about yourself. Do you have nice features that are adorable? Do you have nice skin? nice nails? beautiful eyes? full lips? Find stuff that appeals to you. When you can't change something, change your attitude towards it!


"You are beautiful, in every single way" as the song goes. You are perfect!


5. It's All How You Look At It. Are you jealous of the people with 'amazing" lives? They chose to be that way! Remember, there are people living in mansions who are miserable and people living on the street who are perfectly happy. It's all on how you look at it.


With our disease, we can still enjoy life. All we have to do is to understand and focus on our great abilities.


6. Determine How Your Life Could Be Better. What can you do to make your life better? What do you desire to do? How do you want to feel? Make a few reachable goals and your own strategies. The first step usually is the hardest - getting help or admitting that you need it.


7. Sometimes It's Just Luck. A lot of things in life are just luck. A lot of things in life are just luck. When you were born, whether you had a kind loving family or an abusive one where your mind or even your life is in danger, whether you belong in your community or were born into an out-group by religion, race, etc., whether your family was rich or poor are all random things. It's what you do with it that matters. Remember that there is something epic and heroic in rising from harsh circumstances to do something well. Just surviving a rough situation and coming out of it with a heart is a triumph, a story that could move people long after you lived. That matters.


8. Get Motivated. What motivates you? What gives you energy to go on everyday? Music? Love? family? a 1k run? God/Allah? Your attitude? Your pet? Friends? School? Give yourself a boost by focusing on what is important to you personally.


9. Remember that Some Things Pass With Time. There will be a tomorrow. There will be a next week. There will be a next month and perhaps by then, things will have changed for the better. If you are underage in a bad situation you have a definite release date after which your life is your own, all the things you could do to better it come into reach even if they're difficult.


10. Reminisce. Whenever you feel like you future is "hopeless", think about happy memories. It will help make you feel better and remind you that in the future, there will be good things too. Think about all the good things you've experienced, felt and achieved , and consider how many more good things could be waiting ahed. There will be many great moments in your life - don't let a few obstacles get in the way. If you don't have any happy memories, this is relative - don't judge them by things other people think as "happy memories". Think of the moments it wasn't as bad, even if those were only in solitude.


11. Don't Stop Yourself From Feeling the Joy. It's ok to step back once in a while and just enjoy the moment. Even in though situations - it's important to smile and laugh here and there. Don't restrict yourself
from doing things you love because they're "not important" or because you think you'll be criticized for doing them. Let yourself enjoy life even if you're not at the best place you could be. You only live once - make the best of it. 


12. Develop a Gratitude Journal. It's pretty simple. At the end of the day, write down five things that have made you happy or appreciate that day -- not necessarily big things, even small ones count. For instance: nice weather, being praised by your boss for getting an urgent errand done, your playful dog, kids and partner hugging you goodbye before they went to school or work, a hilarious joke a partner shared, etc.


13. If you feel persistently sad, unmotivated, anxious, hopeless or fearful, seek professional help. You may be suffering from a mood disorder or nutritional deficit which could be contributing to your situation. Chronic physical pain can cause these symptoms too, if an aspirin lifts your mood then go to a pain clinic. Remember there is always somebody there who wants to help you. You are Valuable!


TIPS:


1. To "go for it" simply get up and do it. There is a small voice inside saying "Get up!", and you need to do what it says; just dive it! Turn off the computer, turn off the TV and get going!


2. When you think positively, your whole views change about the world and you tend to look on the better, clearer side. It may sound stupid but being resentful is what really renders positive thinking useless. When you let down your walls (or hold out until they collapse.. ) really trying to "focus on the positives."


3. Thinking positively means hanging on to hope and looking for new possibilities at the time when life's gotten too hard. It means striving against its challenges, however extreme. It means hanging on to what is good in yourself if everything else gets swept away and valuing your compassion, your warmth, your capacity to find beauty. There is always the sky, there is always a dewdrop on a weed.


4. If the above fails for you, take the Buddhist view: Life is difficult. The fallacious thought is that we can change that. In accepting that life indeed is difficult, we begin to make it less painful .. not less difficult. Accept that life is full of difficulty and choose the religion, belief system, or substance to ingest to decrease the pain; that is after all what the rest of us do. Life CAN suck, deal with it!

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