Joey's Story

Posted by Pozziepinoy on 8:39 AM

Hello, 

I am Joey (alias), a 21 year old fresh graduate of Bachelor of Science in XXX just this March 2013, and I'm about to have my review for the board exams starting on the last week of May. 

To describe further myself (my gay life), I can confidently say that I'm the epitome of beauty and youth. I've dated a lot of guys who are really willing to win me. I've had relationships from the past since I was 18, and I wouldn't deny that I may have engaged myself in multiple sex relationships.(But rest assured, I was practising safe sex then.) 


Then come January 2012, I was 20, I got into a relationship, a real one, with Dany (alias) who 29 then, of course sex is part of our relationship,and this time, I might have surrendered my virtue with him. He was my first bare. We never used protection considering we both believed that we are both safe. In fact, March of 2012, I had a medical exam as part of my immigration application, and I believed there were no signs yet that time because the results of it would have been informed to me if there was. So my relationship with Dany lasted until July 2012. After that I never got into a relationship again yet but I've had 4 sex encounters until December and 2 of those was unprotected, one was with a guy who is publicly known for his fashion designs, and the other one was a pilot who was once upon a time my FUBU but we used protection then. Then December came by, and it was already January 2013, Dany and I got the chance to be somehow reunited again, but it wasn't the same anymore as what we had before, we are friends already but there were 2 times we've had sex during January without protection. And to fast forward things, that was the last time I've had sex unprotectedly.

2 weeks ago, I began to date this cute guy who I met through a gay app on iPhone. Since we both like each other, we wanted already to take it to something more sexual but both of us agreed to get tested first before we do it.

So just yesterday, April 8, 2013, I got myself tested at RITM's Satellite Clinic in Malate. I decided to get a test on my own ahead of this new guy I'm dating. Before the results were out, I was more than 50% confident that I was negative, coz I believe, I'm so young to have it, it'll just be a little chance for me to be positive for sure. Unfortunately, when I saw the results, I was negative for the Syphilis and Hepa but positive for HIV. I was shocked but I didn't feel like trembling or crying at the time. Why? Probably because it was already 7pm and I was in a hurry to meet Dany for dinner. So after some instructions were given to me by the nurse, I rushed out to get a cab already to go to place where I'll meet Dany. While I was inside the cab, I was thinking, what if it was a sign, that the day I found out that I'm positive is also the day when I'm gonna meet Danny who I happened to last met probably 1st week of February. It's not often we see each other. So I was already thinking of telling it to him. But sadly, my attempt failed. I couldn't. I felt what if he wasn't the carrier, he would have been troubled coz we had sex just this January, not only once but twice. But at some point, the only thing I was able to do was to ask him if he already got tested, and he said yes, he had it last July 2012 and he said, "Im possitive. Joke! Im negative". I don't know whether to believe it or not, but I know he had tuberculosis signs during mid 2012 to early 2013 coz I saw his meds in his room before and I know TB is opportunistic infection once you are a positive. But so much for the finding out of how I got it. I know it'll just be between him, the fashion designer and the pilot who could have infected me.

Now, the only visible effects of me being positive, is that I get to have coughs at night with sticky mucus inside coz I can feel it. Aside from that, my body is doing just fine.

So this April 11 2013, I'll be heading to the RITM main to get my CD4 count. So that my condition could be analyzed further.

To be honest, I don't know who to talk to about my condition, I'm too scared to share it with anyone who's inside my circle meaning my family, friends, people who know me. I've been googling a lot of information about HIV, I know very well that one will be okay as long as he lives a healthy lifestyle and avoid the bad ones. But there are concerns that have been bothering me. Will I still be able to work and practice my profession if ever I pass the board exams? How long is the usual lifespan of someone who has HIV? Will I still reach 50?60?70? Can I still enjoy the pleasures of life? Only God knows. I guess this is God's way of Him telling me to learn something from it. I hope I could get a chance to meet people who also have IT, I'd really love to know a lot of information pertaining to experience by hand. Information on the internet are surely vast, but it's still somehow has limitations. Further reason why I would like to be connected with others is that I wanna be heard and have security that I will be accepted coz as of the moment I could only be honest enough with people who are outside of my circle. I know at one point that I have to inform people inside me, particularly my family, but it will follow gradually as time and outside people will help me.

God bless to all of us.

Joey





"WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
NO PLHIV is alone with his or her struggle with HIV!"

-Pozziepinoy-



If you have comments or questions, please click this link:






© Copyright. All Rights Reserved by Pozziepinoy 2012

Credits: