Email 225: Serodiscordant Couple in Massachusetts
Posted by Pozziepinoy on 9:50 AM
I am a Pinoy living in Massachusetts and I'm HIV positive. I just found out this year January 2nd. I felt so much pain and heartbroken. I felt like the world shattered on me. I don't know what to do right now I felt very sad and depressed. But because of the support of my wife I feel good inside. With the love and care unconditionally that she gives to me. She tested negative.
I felt very sad and lonely because there is no Filipino community in my town. I need someone to talk and listen to me. I started already my ARV treatment here and so far so good I can feel the side effects but I can handle it well.
Thank you so much for your blogs. I always open it every time I'm lonely.
Please reply asap.
massguy
CONTRIBUTOR'S RESPONSE
Hi massguy,
Thank you for your email.
Firstly congratulations to you and your wife on your recent wedding. It is a wonderful journey you have both embarked upon. You both obviously love each other very much. However, I can understand your concerns and the sadness and loneliness that you are feeling. You are dealing with being newly diagnosed HIV+ and you're concerned that you may transmit HIV to your wife. The fact that you are a HIV serodiscordant couple need not damage your relationship at all. Many people have been these sorts of relationships for many years with the HIV- partner remaining HIV-. Their relationships have succeeded because they have kept issues in perspective and talked openly about any concerns they have. While your HIV status is a significant difference between the two of you, it does not define your relationship. It is just one of the many characteristics that define you as a couple and as individuals. While you are almost certainly awarer of it, I will include a link here that you can copy and paste to your browser window. By navigating around the site you'll find it clearly outlines the safer sex practices that all successful serodiscordant relationships adhere to. http://www.poz.com/archive/2005_Aug_348.shtml.
Also, with the advent or ARV HIV is no longer a death sentence. In fact, there is no reason that HIV+ people like us, who take care of their health by sticking to a balanced diet and exercise regimen, and adhering to their ARV regimen, cannot live as long as we would have anyway. Possibly even longer as we are more likely to take our health more seriously.
Noel E. Bordador has kindly furnished Pozzie Pinoy and I with the following information regarding support groups in NYC which is close by to you in Massachusetts.
We have here the Asian and PAcific islander Coalition on HIV/AIDS, Inc,(APICHA) They might be able to refer you to support groups in Massachusetts. Administrative Office: (212) 334-7940
Administrative Fax: (212) 334-7956
Medical Clinic Direct Number: 212-334-6029
Medical Clinic Fax Number: 212-334-7957
Infoline: 866-APICHA9 (866-274-2429)
Noel can also refer you to a friend or friends (Pinoy) who are living with HIV/AIDS here in NYC. He works in the HIV/AIDS field in NYC and also know of many Pinoy Poz here. He will not reveal your identity as he is bound by law to keep confidentiality (it is punishable there in NYC to break confidentiality)
Another group is Mass Asian and Pacific Islanders for Health (MAP)322 Tremont Street
Boston, MA 02116
main: 1 (617) 426-6755
fax: 1 (617) 426-6755
email: map@maphealth.org
I hope you have found this answer helpful.
Credits: http://www.poz.com/archive/2005_Aug_348.shtml
https://www.facebook.com/groups/theredribbon/ Noel E. Bordador
Stay healthy and compliant with your ARV.
Malcolm Brown
CONTRIBUTOR'S RESPONSE
Hi massguy,
Thank you for your email.
Firstly congratulations to you and your wife on your recent wedding. It is a wonderful journey you have both embarked upon. You both obviously love each other very much. However, I can understand your concerns and the sadness and loneliness that you are feeling. You are dealing with being newly diagnosed HIV+ and you're concerned that you may transmit HIV to your wife. The fact that you are a HIV serodiscordant couple need not damage your relationship at all. Many people have been these sorts of relationships for many years with the HIV- partner remaining HIV-. Their relationships have succeeded because they have kept issues in perspective and talked openly about any concerns they have. While your HIV status is a significant difference between the two of you, it does not define your relationship. It is just one of the many characteristics that define you as a couple and as individuals. While you are almost certainly awarer of it, I will include a link here that you can copy and paste to your browser window. By navigating around the site you'll find it clearly outlines the safer sex practices that all successful serodiscordant relationships adhere to. http://www.poz.com/archive/2005_Aug_348.shtml.
Also, with the advent or ARV HIV is no longer a death sentence. In fact, there is no reason that HIV+ people like us, who take care of their health by sticking to a balanced diet and exercise regimen, and adhering to their ARV regimen, cannot live as long as we would have anyway. Possibly even longer as we are more likely to take our health more seriously.
Noel E. Bordador has kindly furnished Pozzie Pinoy and I with the following information regarding support groups in NYC which is close by to you in Massachusetts.
We have here the Asian and PAcific islander Coalition on HIV/AIDS, Inc,(APICHA) They might be able to refer you to support groups in Massachusetts. Administrative Office: (212) 334-7940
Administrative Fax: (212) 334-7956
Medical Clinic Direct Number: 212-334-6029
Medical Clinic Fax Number: 212-334-7957
Infoline: 866-APICHA9 (866-274-2429)
Noel can also refer you to a friend or friends (Pinoy) who are living with HIV/AIDS here in NYC. He works in the HIV/AIDS field in NYC and also know of many Pinoy Poz here. He will not reveal your identity as he is bound by law to keep confidentiality (it is punishable there in NYC to break confidentiality)
Another group is Mass Asian and Pacific Islanders for Health (MAP)322 Tremont Street
Boston, MA 02116
main: 1 (617) 426-6755
fax: 1 (617) 426-6755
email: map@maphealth.org
I hope you have found this answer helpful.
Credits: http://www.poz.com/archive/2005_Aug_348.shtml
https://www.facebook.com/groups/theredribbon/ Noel E. Bordador
Stay healthy and compliant with your ARV.
Malcolm Brown
"WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
NO PLHIV is alone with his or her struggle with HIV!"
-Pozziepinoy-
Image by FreeDigitalPhotos.net
