Email 107: "Please Help Me"

Posted by Pozziepinoy on 3:41 PM

Hi Pozziepinoy,

Nov 5, 2012, I was in a clinic for a beneficiary sponsorship medical examination going to Canada. 3 days later, Nov 9, 2012, I was told for a blood-retest. At first, I thought it was for immigration purposes, then until HIV testing waver was given to be filled-up. I was shocked and couldn't think anything positive. I felt the coldness of the room and when the med-tech started to ask me personal questions, I could'nt help but to think about the 3 year old girl {my beautiful niece} who I baby sitted since she was first born, who is going 3 this coming January. We were attached so much to each other like father and daughter. She is a bubbly little angel, and I couldn't help but to cry in front of the med staff. 


My concern was, with all the possibilities to transmit this disease, what about the mosquito bite? We cannot barely see them when they eat you and transfer to another host. All I was thingking was my niece, and I felt devastated about it. I felt like dying sooner was the helpful thing to do, for the people I love. 

Second I am financially broke. I was suffering from a 12 years old nasal polyp and tinnitus, so i can't have a job and i just can't go to work. When i was asked to come back for conselling, second thing running through my head was money. Where could I get the money for this lifetime medication? I literally walked home and I couldnt think of the best thing to do. 

Right now, no one knows but me alone, I don't know what to do. I don't know when to come out. I don't know how to say, "hey mom-dad I am hiv+" seeing those people hurt deeply because the first thing that will cross to their mind is, "are you dying?". Even though people dont say it or ask it but "dying" thing was the first and it kills them to know that you're deeply sick. You know what i mean? urrgghhh... 

I don't know how to fight it. I seek help. Please help me. 

XXX


POZZIEPINOY'S RESPONSE

Hi XXX,

Thank you for writing to me.

I feel your concern. It is really a shock when you find out the you have an incurable disease, most of all when you have HIV. You think of all the bad things that will happen, you think about your shattered dreams, you think about how you will tell it to your parents and to your loved ones. You think about how you can deal with the treatment and how much you have to spend for it.

Like what I always say to new PLHIV's. It is hard at first but the path has been paved for you to make everything easy.

First and foremost, you have to understand that HIV is not a death sentence anymore. There is treatment and people now live a full and productive life. The "death scenario" attached to it only happens when you ignore that you are HIV positive and ignore that there is treatment. The "death scenario" only happens when you don't seek consultation from HIV doctors and when you get different infections brought about by your weakened immune system.

Second, don't worry about myths about HIV. It is not transmitted by mosquito bites, or one can't get it from sharing of utensils or by straight physical skin to skin contact. Learn to educate yourself about HIV and know all the facts. Empower yourself with all the information about it and it will calm you mind and you will be able to think and focus straight on what the steps you need to take.

Third, treatment is either free or cheap if you act now while you don't feel anything yet. HIV can weaken your immune system which means that if you allow the virus to stay in your body and not do anything about it, it will continuously harm your body's defense against infections, thus treatment will be more costly. Understand that HIV treatment, medicines and consultation are free in HIV/AIDS Treatment Hubs all over the country. The laboratory tests are cheap and sometimes even free. Like what I said, it becomes costly only if you delay getting checked by an HIV doctor, when you already have opportunistic infections in which case, even the lab tests and medicines are expensive.

Right now, you are confused, but by asking for help is a good start. Communicating to someone else is a step towards finding all the answers that you need. It is hard to accept at first but sooner or later, once you realize that really, everything will be alright, then you will be able to have the courage to embrace it. We tend to think about how our loved ones will think about us but always remember that their love for you will strengthen you and will make you feel better. Sooner or later you will have to tell them but don't do it until you are really ready.

If you would allow me, I would love to help you. Please email me at pozziepinoy@yahoo.com for your contact number so we can talk. I would like to guide you on the next steps that you need to take to gain control of your health and introduce you to people who can assist you with your treatment. Trust me when I say that everything will be alright.

Life is really hard with HIV.  Knowing all the facts and acknowledging that there are people who will help you can make it easy.

I want to hear from you soon.


Stay healthy,
Pozziepinoy


"WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
NO PLHIV is alone with his or her struggle with HIV!"

-Pozziepinoy-


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