Email 110: A Planet Romeo Member
Posted by Pozziepinoy on 8:30 PM
Dear Pozziepinoy,
Hi, I'm a graduating student from Cebu, and I need to consult someone about this. I don't think I can open up to my parents about this matter because I feel they won't understand, plus my brother's too busy with his new family, and my friends aren't too knowledgeable about the stuff gay people do. (not intending to generalize) So here goes.
I've been a member of the gay social media site "PlanetRomeo" for a couple of months now. It was cool at first since you'd be meeting with a lot of gay people from all types of backgrounds and lifestyles. Some are far from you, and some are totally just a few blocks away. It amazed me at first, really. One reason I signed up there was also because I wanted to know how the gay community here in Cebu works, I mean, how the gay community dates, interacts, and advertise themselves online( if you know what I mean). It helped me get a grasp of the local scene, especially that I've never been exposed to these stuff even though I'm gay myself.
After a few months, it became a little redundant, boring and somewhat pointless. Given that most of the people there just wanted the one shot thing, and would sometimes, if not often, ask for a face pic before replying to any of your queries. I didn't want to post pics online, especially on that site because of the fear of identity thieves or that my school might find out about it(which is a very prestigious, and conservative religious school btw), much worse if my friends/family might stumble upon me there.
I was really deciding on deleting my account for good when an anonymous person popped up and messaged me. We did a little chit-chat until we added each other on skype. I found out he was living in the same "barangay" as I am, and it was just a motorcycle ride away. We "cammed" and chatted a little and he asked me if he could come over and if we could do "it".(You know that "thing") I barely know him, and I don't know his status. (I particularly know mine's negative since I've just been tested for blood donation) I had mixed emotions all over, honestly. Since I've no experience whatsoever with meet-ups or one-night-stands or flings, I got pretty scared. But at the same time, my curiosity that laid asleep for years suddenly woke up. I was ... in a fork. I was asking myself, should I invite him over? or should I not? Is he a burglar, a thief, a pretentious kidnapper or a bitter pozzie who wants to spread the virus. In the end, I just said NO, amidst all his ploys to convince me otherwise. Although every bit of my human, naughty side was yelling to have him over and do "it" for the first time, I just didn't. I just can't afford to do it.
The thing I wanted to ask is that. Did I do the right thing? Was it a waste to let down an offer to experience something for the first time after a very long time of waiting? What if he was negative, and he was really just a nice person after all? What could I have done better? When would be the right time to have intimacy with someone? I'm afraid it might be too late, and I've passed on so many chances because of fear.
Thank you so much for this. I don't know who else to share this with. Thank you.
Curious20
Hi Curious20.
Thank you for your email. Thank you for sharing a detailed account of your experience with Planet Romeo (PR), the famous online gay hook up site.
Although it is true that PR is famous hookup site for people, still we can't judge people who are members there. Like you, I used to frequent PR for sex, however, now you would find me as a Pozziepinoy there, promoting HIV awareness and promoting life with AIDS. I now get emails from there asking about their concerns about their health status.
Regarding your concern, for me, it is ok to meet up with somebody in PR. Meeting people can be a good experience to anybody and only you can judge a person once you get to talk to him or when you you meet him. I agree with you that it may be scary to meet a stranger, but you won't know the true intention or color of the person if you won't try to get to know him or meet him, right?
However, if you both agreed to have a sexual encounter during the course of your communication, I advice you to be smart enough to protect yourself. Make sure to say NO to unprotected sex since you don't know his HIV/ STD status yet. That is the only way that you can avoid any possible infection and any possible health dilemma later on.
Fear is an obstacle to any future relationships. But you won't be able to experience the beauty of life, of relationships if you won't try. Like what I said, just be smart and say NO to unprotected sex until you really know the person first.
I hope I was able to answer your concerns. Feel free to email me again if you have other questions.
Stay healthy,
Pozziepinoy
"WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
NO PLHIV is alone with his or her struggle with HIV!"
-Pozziepinoy-
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Tags: HIV Manila, HIV Philippines, AIDS Manila, AIDS Philippines, HIV/AIDS Manila, HIV/AIDS Philippines
