On My HIV Journey

Posted by Pozziepinoy on 10:04 AM
Hi Pozziepinoy,

Let me start off by saying this is a way of release for me to talk about my condition because right now. I have no one to share it with or even relate it with so I thought about it sabi ko why not share it to my fellow PLHIV and to your readers who are PLHIV.

My journey started last December, it was the simbang gabi (midnight mass) season because sabi ko wala namang mawawala (nothing can go wrong) if I thank the lord for my blessings and at the same time of course be given a chance to wish on something hopefully because we have a saying that if you complete the 9 mornings, you can make a wish. That's what I did I went out and heard morning mass for 9 days but on the 5th day I was experiencing hard of breathing with my any action, small walks made me breathe hard. I Told myself that this is for the Lord, and I will pursue and complete this so hindi ko mind what I was feeling and told myself that it was because of lack of sleep. So I was able to complete it, but come 26th of Dec 2012 it worsened and I felt difficulty in swallowing and even climbing stairs made it hard to breathe. Again I ignored it and told myself that I'll just take Vit C supplements and rest then the symptoms subsided a little then come January red rashes developed in my thighs and arms, like prickly heat so I told myself that maybe I got bitten by insects so I took antihistamine and they somehow subsided. Then after that  it was really hard for me to breathe as in climbing the stairs of 12 steps, I felt that I joined a  Fun Run. After I developed fever which I though can be treated with paracetamol  apparently not so I was rushed to the hospital and after the doctors looked at me they concluded I have pneumonia and an oral trush which was a red flag for me to be tested with HIV. So cut the story short test results came in I was tested in the hospital and yes I was positive. I didn't cry much but I took it numbly. Up to now I would say I'm numb about it but when I watch life death situations I cry alone because I'm still scared with what my friend's reaction would be. My mom knows it but I don't show that I am weak. I'm showing her that I am fighting it because I don't want her to cry because of me of the possibility I might go anytime soon.

Also I have partner and  told him to get tested and he got a negative result but we are still on the window phase. I am wishing that I didn't pass it to him since he is the giver and we did it two times unsafe because he said it was his dream and I wanted to please him because I love him.

So right now I am numb I don't know where my faith is. I am already on ART's and now dealing with the side effects. 

I hope who ever reads this can serve as an Inspiration to get tested. Don't ignore signs and hopefully if you get a chance since we all are all 'people like us' (PLU). Please open your mind and do not discriminate and say even a small prayer for us PLU's carrying the virus coz you never know that you already have it and yet you still don't know.

Thank you Pozzie.

NO PLHIV is alone with his or her struggle with HIV!"


© Copyright. All Rights Reserved by Pozziepinoy 2012