Email 296: Conflicted

Posted by Pozziepinoy on 8:52 AM

I have just tested positive for HIV and will be going to ARG this coming week for further tests. Im conflicted and am contemplating ending my life to avoid the shame my family will face for my condition. Especially my parents. Is there a way to overcome this and live?

 Conflicted


POZZIEPINOY’S RESPONSE


Hi Conflicted.

Thank you for your email.

I know it is hard to accept HIV at first but I know you will over time. Our thoughts can sometimes be so strong and can manipulate our actions but always remember that a lot of people have gone through what you are going through right now. I myself, was on my deathbed before because of pneumonia and PCP but I just focused on getting treatment and never allowed my thoughts to control over me. I did what the doctors told me to do. I have HIV and AIDS, with CD4 of 70 a year ago, but now my CD4 is 538, with undetectable viral load. The key is focusing on treatment rather than over thinking. I also assisted somebody who was thinking of ending his life but he then focused on treatment and started to enjoy his life once again and like me, after one year his CD4 rebounded and his Viral Load, like mine became undetectable.

 Everybody who first learned that they are positive with HIV felt what you are feeling. But focusing on things that you can control makes acceptance faster. I know you will too. Just breathe and be encouraged by all the stories of PLHIV's here in the blog who have surpassed the initial trials and who are right now living their lives to the fullest, who are reaching out their dreams once again, while living with HIV.

 To encourage you more, let me tell you these known facts:

 1. HIV is not a death sentence anymore.
2. Treatment for HIV is free here in the Philippines.
3. There are EXCELLENT HIV doctors here in the country.
4. In the government HIV/AIDS Treatment Hubs, consultation and HIV meds are FREE.
5. Most of the lab tests required in the HIV/AIDS Treatment hub are either free or cheap.
6. HIV is now treated like having diabetes or hypertension. 
7. People are now living for decades now.
8. People who are getting HIV treatment are living normal lives.
9. In the Philippines, HIV is not a requirement for employment, meaning you can work anywhere here.

 Please read the following blog entries to help you get through what you are feeling right now:



If you have other questions, please email me again. If you want a person to talk to, just call me at 0916-286-2066. Usually I don't reply to text messages because I have limited load, but feel free to call me.


Stay healthy,
Pozziepinoy




"WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
NO PLHIV is alone with his or her struggle with HIV!"

-Pozziepinoy-



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