Email 518: Paranoid and Sick!

Posted by Pozziepinoy on 2:13 PM
Good day.

I got paranoid again but i don't know why. Probably it's because i have this bad sore throat and a lil bit of cough and colds here and there but no signs of fever. Still wondering if i got this from the drinking & partying i had last saturday. Woke up with a bad hangover and still went to school. I began experiencing this painful sensation in my throat while swallowing Thursday that week. My mom's a nurse so she advised me to gargle warm water with salt as well as taking up bactidol. The pain is less now compared before but I still have it. No signs of swollen lymph nodes. I do have a bit of cough and colds but i don't feel tired of whatever.  Anyway, enough with the partying stuff, (hehe) I am more concerned now that I had a relationship with this guy whom i met online. We never met ASAP and we got to know each other more though we broke up just recently since he was too far away from where i live and i was being paranoid and all, anyway, Problem is, we had bareback sex the 1st time (i'm the bottom) we met which, was July 13 if i recall it. And now is August 12. 5 weeks from now.  Just a breakdown:. July 13 (bareback), July 20 (Blow Job) & July 27 (Protected sex). 

He's a great guy, he told me he only does sexual intercourse with his partners. But i still doubt. I broke up with him because of long distance issues though. Anyway, I had a monogamous relationship before him and we always get tested (we always test negative). I am not quick to judge but since i met this guy online and we've only dated for just a bit now makes me think that I AM prone to HIV. I opened up "safe sex " with him and he is positive that he is indeed safe. He also got a new job now which he passed the med exam and he is also a nurse which makes him more knowledgeable than I. Currently,  am still waiting to get tested since there is a window period, right? And God forbid, I don't have it. 

I'm sorry this email is so long. I just want to give a detailed description as to why I am having this sore throat or tonsilitis or whatever. It's just that, I saw it as one if the symptoms of HIV and i'm really bothered. Is it just because of the partying? Stress? or something even more? I'm scared but I don't want this to get over me. I am 21 and I still study. I have so many plans in the future but I'm scared. :( 

Best Regards,


Hi KJ.

Thank you for your email.

If you a hundred percent sure that your last unprotected sex was really the only unprotected sex after your last HIV test, then you can wait until the 3rd month post exposure. However, if there were some other instances, then you should take the test now.

KJ, I don't want to reprimand you or judge you but you should have learned from your past counselling prior to your previous HIV tests. You have to understand that HIV is prevalent now and there is one person getting infected in every 3 hours here in the Philippines. You should also know the person first, know his HIV status not based on what he tells you, but based on the actual HIV test paper that he should have presented you. Look, you even said that you are not sold out if indeed he was not sleeping around.

Learn from this experience once again, so you wouldn't repeat it. Always remember that you can only have unprotected sex only if you know the ACTUAL HIV STATUS of the person. Period. You can only have unprotected sex if both of you are 100% monogamous. Period. This disclosure means that your relationship is deep enough that even your asking him won't offend him. This disclosure means that you guys have both taken the HIV test prior to having unprotected sex. Otherwise, please take precautions and wear a condom all the time to protect yourselves. It is better to wait, than be sorry. It is better to be sure that be infected with an incurable disease.

Also, please don't think that even though you past partner was a nurse, he was off the hook. You might think that a nurse knows better, but I have known and talked to a lot of nurses with HIV now, both here and Filipinos working overseas. Also, don't think that because your ex partner have frequent medical check ups, that is not HIV positive. Here in the Philippines, the HIV test is not required by companies, even hospitals prior to employment as it is against the law. Unless he is working now abroad, then you may believe that he is negative while you were together as it is required before granting of a working VISA. Still, best is to take the test as you had unprotected sex and make sure that you really take it. Just be proactive about it.

BTW, the symptoms that you are feeling right now, could be anything as HIV has non specific symptoms.

I hope I was able to answer your concerns. Feel free to email me again if you have other questions.

Stay healthy,

NO PLHIV is alone with his or her struggle with HIV!"


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