Email 523: Who Infected Me?

Posted by Pozziepinoy on 7:11 PM

Ok. Now that i know that I am positive. What bothers me is the person who has infected me the virus. I had few unprotected sex the latest was July 21, two others are 3months ago and 6 months ago respectively. Among the 3 who might it be? Or could it also be those guys who I had sex with in the past years? I wanted to know who so that at least I could disclose it to that guy and help him.



Thank you for your email. Thank you for sharing your concern.

You can screen all your past sexual partners but what for? Knowing the "culprit" will not give you the peace of mind that you need. Like what I tell my readers, the story behind getting HIV is not about who gave it to you alone, but instead you getting infected because you allowed to have unprotected sex with another person without knowing his or her HIV status in the first place. 

Although your intentions may be good, knowing who infected you would be hard to identify and investigate in the first place as there is a confidentiality law protecting anybody with HIV here in the Philippines. Also, have you ever thought that you were already infected with HIV even before you had sex with those people in the recent months, and may in fact gave them the virus, since one, you had unprotected sex in the past years and second, you never had an HIV test prior to any of the unprotected sex that you recently had? 

However, if you want to help your ex partners, do what I had done after I got diagnosed. Instead of looking for the one who infected me. I tried helping all of them by sending a mass text message, which went like this:

         "Hey guys. HIV is spreading like wild fire. There are 10 cases per day now!
          Always have protection! Always have safe sex. Get tested. It is the only way 
          that we can help stop this virus from spreading! Please pass!"

Another way is by directly telling your ex sex partners that you have HIV, that they maybe infected too and that they need to take the HIV test as soon as possible. Of course, it will take a lot of guts on your part to tell this. 

For now, just focus on your health. You just got diagnosed so you need to concentrate on becoming healthy again. The past is over but what you can do is to learn from it, start moving on and tell others to take the HIV test.

I hope I was able to answer your concerns. Feel free to email me again if you have other questions.

Stay healthy,

NO PLHIV is alone with his or her struggle with HIV!"


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