PLHIV Story: Love Yourself!

Posted by Pozziepinoy on 6:32 PM
Let me share my story before I become a pozzie. Okay ba?! Plsss. :D

I came from a perfect relationship with a perfect guy that everybody wishes to have in their life. For me, my love story is such a fairy tale to share. I was a freshman student during my college days and member of sociocivic orgs in the university. I'm also an officer of the Student Council, the USC. I come from a poor family. Salat sa buhay na ang mga kamag anak lang namen ang nagpapaaral saken. I'm a discreet bisexual. My ultimate crush was a sophomore - he's a campus crush. He's very known in the university esp. sa mundo ng mga bisexuals and gays because he's a bisexual, too. He sings well, matalino, cool and super galing pumorma. He also comes from a very decent and well-to-do family. Super suplado, mayabang at egocentric siya, maybe because alam nya na obrang gwapo nya.

I've met him because of a big event in the univ. and the being an officer of the Student Council, part ako ng organizing team. The first day I personally met him was really terrible. He was requesting the entire USC naunahin ang performance niya. He will sing kasi sa event na yun. And as head, I followed the original flow of the program. Nagalit siya. Nagsagutan kame. "Not my lost, Mr. officer." Sabe niya saken. I replied back, "WOW! Mas lalong hindi lost ng council ang performance mo, hambog!". Walked out siya. After 2 days I texted him. I apologized. He accepted my apology. Since then, we started texting each other hangang umabot sa peek of courting each other. Hatid sa classroom. Sabay uuwe. Kaen sa labas. Dated sa mga parks. In short, naging kame. Madamig nagalit saken. Madameng issues. But those things made us stronger. Behing the "suplado" image he has sa university as campus crush, he's the sweetest and most caring guy ever. When he was in his on board OJT, he wrote ton of letters at inipon niya ito at binigay saken when he carrived from the vessel. Nung bday ko, grabe yung mga surpirses. We always go out. Watched movies and dinner dates. There was a time na umuulan, nagkatampuhan kame. He waited sa labas ng gate namen from 8PM to 2AM just to say "sorry". Syempre basang basa siya nun. It was such a perfect relationship.

 I decided to moved herein Manila to work. I stopped from studying. Nagkahiwalay kame pero long distance relationship for a year ang eksena namen. I was so faithful. Ibang iba pala talaga ang Manila dahil kahit taken kana liligawan kapa. He promised me na once he graduate, susunod siya saken dito sa Manila at mag lilive-in kame. 2 weeks after graduate, he arrived here sa Manila. It was a surprised kasi hindi niya ako sinabihan na darating siya. Sweeeet. After 1 year nagkita kame ule. Nahalikan ko siya at nakayap. Naglive in kame. Masaya. Sobrang saya kasi we have the freedom to express our love to each other. Halos every night were having sex. Hahaha. Nagsimula sa maghanap ng work. Nagkatrabaho. Nagtraining. Pareho kaming nasa BPO industry but not the same company. Perfect life with him. Sa hirap at ginhawa magkasama kame. We shared each other's salary and expenses sa unit, sa food at sa luho. Few months after, medyo nagiging malabo na. Lage daw siya OT. Minsan di umuuwe kasi nakikiyulog siya sa mga officemates niya na malapit sa work. But our place is just a jeepney ride from his work. We lived in Pasig and he works in Ortigas. I started to be suspicious.

One day, I came from work. Naghihintay ako ng jeep sa crossing. And surprisingly, napadaan siya na may kasama. Officemate niya ata. He looked at me and I stared at him. Tipong di kame magkakilala. Dumating siya sa bahay. Tulog ako. He embraced me at nagising ako. He whispered, "ILOVEYOU". Umiyak ako. Because I know that there's something wrong sa relationship namen. Mararamdaman mo yun bilang partner for almost 3 years.

Weeks have passed naging medyo okay naman kame.  I was feelin' sick na hindi ko kaya mag work. My TL sent me home. RD niya. Dumating ako ng 1AM to surprised him. Pero ako ang nasurpresa sa nakita ko. He was FVCKING the guy I saw nung magkasama sila sa crossing. Ouch! Nagaway kame. Pinalayas ko siya sa bahay. Nagbalot siya kasama yung guy. I was looking at  him when he was packing up his things that morning dawn. Nung paalis na siya, lumuhod ako at nakiusap na ayusin namen. Ang sabe niya lang, "Marame na ang nagbago."

Naglaslas ako dahil mahal na mahal ko siya. Naging depressive. Di pumapasok sa trabaho. Few weeks after, medyo nakarecover na sa nangyari saken. Can't be reached na phone niya. Blocked na ako sa FB niya. Wala! No communications at all. I started to entertain mga nanliligaw saken. Started to learn smoking, drinking so hard and have one night stand. Nakilala ko si PR. Sex dito. Sex dun. I fucked here. I fucked there. BJ dito, Bj dun. I joined clans. Attended sex parties. But NEVER into drugs or orgies. I was lost. It was such dark life. Even my friends' partners were having sex with me. Isang sms ko lang, di makatanggi saken yung mga PiniPM ko. It was a dark life. I want to escape but I dunno where's the way out of that misery life I had.

Until that May 30, 2013 came when I was diagnosed to be positive. A realization came in my mind, "Beauty has price to pay". Now, As I move forward with my life, I'm now an HIV advocate. I'm living happy, single and relationship with God. Being positive brought me so many lessons in life that other people could never have in their lifetime.

Love life, it short, love yourself. Death is eternity.

I am XXX, 23, and this is my story.

Hi pozziepinoy,

I just wanna let you know that I'm so grateful to God that there are people like you who are consistently educating, inspiring, helping and showing care to others esp. to people like us. I'm a fan, a follower of your blog. I'm checking the updates and shared stories here everyday. In fact, this is my second email to you. The first one was entitled, "FIGHT". I'm hoping that this email will be published here soon.

It was May 30, 2013 when I was diagnosed to be HIV positive. My CD4 count was 264. I have HBV and 2 degree Syphillis (now treated). I was very afraid to take the ARV because of the other patients' testimonies on how their body reacted with the medicine. Skin rashes, body fat reallocation, and some psychological reactions or abnormal dreams. But glory to God! My body didn't react to any side effects mentioned by our co-pozzies. I was expecting to have a high fever on my 1 st day but it didn't happen. No skin rashes or abnormal dreams or whatsoever. My body is just really responding to the medication very well. Thanks to God for all the great things he's doin' in my life.


NO PLHIV is alone with his or her struggle with HIV!"


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