Email 496: My Story, and I am Still Worried! ~ Living with HIV in the Philippines

Email 496: My Story, and I am Still Worried!

Posted by Pozziepinoy on 7:13 PM

Dear Pozzie,

Just call me Tripermale. Last first week of July 2013 ay nagkaroon ako ng std kung tawagin ay TULO (gonorrhea). Actually pangalawang beses ko na ito 2004 nung una ako nag karoon dahil din naging partner ko dati na sabi nya eh malinis naman daw sya at napapayag nya ako magsex kami wlang condom.. Etong panglawang beses eh ganun din ang nangyari at dahil sa sobrang libog...Tingin ko nakuha ko ito dun sa partner ko na nakasex ko na walang condom nung first time namin nagsex dahil sabi nya safe naman daw sya. Although kilala ko naman sya at alam ko naman kung saan sya nagwowork at pagkatao nya. Dahil nagtratrabaho sya sa isang FIVE Star Hotel.. Kaya alam kong safe ako sa kanya. Although kinausap ko naman na sya regarding sa nangyari at hinuhuli ko sya kong may sakit syang nakakahawa katulad ng HIV eh sabi naman nya wala daw kasi every three months my medical sila.

Although magaling na ako sa sakit ng TULO pagkatapos lang ng dalawang araw ng paginom ko ng gamot pero inubos ko naman yung pang isang linggo gamutan. Pero sabi ng nagcheckup sa akin ay magpacheck na rin daw ako ng HIV testing at medyo tinakot nya ako na baka may HIV na rin daw ako kasi pwede daw makuha yun sa pagblowjob at unprotected sex at naalala ko nagkatulo din ako dati. Kaya ang daming tumakbo sa utak ko.

Halos dalawang Linggo ako walang tulog at parang walang pahinga.. Ang dami kong iniisip,dahil walang nakakaalam sa amin ang mga kalokohang ginagawa ko at ang tunay kong pagkatao.. Wala akong ginawa kung hindi magdasal sa Panginoon, umiyak at maresearch sa internet regarding HIV hanggang sa natagpuan ko itong blog na ito..

Siguro dahil sa stress at tromang inabot ko ay medyo nagkasakit ako, nagkaroon ako ng ubo, sorethroat at mga rashes sa katawan. Kaya bago pa lumalala ang sitwasyon ay naglakas loob akong magpatest sa RITM Malate noong July 22,2013. Nung una medyo kinakabahan ako at ang daming tumatakbo sa isip ko lalo na kung financial matter ang pag uusapan at syempre sa mga pangarap at responsibilidad sa buhay.

Pero naging maayos ang lahat ng nakausap ko na yung counselor na pangalan nya ay Journey. Okay naman naging kalmado naman na ang lahat at tinangap ko na kung ano ang mangyayari sa akin..

So nag-usap kami at naging kalmado naman na lahat. Hangang sa kinuhanan na ako ng dugo.. After two hours umalis ako ng clinic at naglibang libang sa ROBINSON Galleria at ang daming tumatakbo sa isip ko hanggang sa umabot na kung papaano ako ililibing or ang prayer ko nalang eh sana matago ko habang buhay yung sakit na HIV dahil takot ako sa mga consequences na ginawa ko....

So after two hours bumalik na ako ng clinic at medyo suspense pa ang nangyari at sa awa ng DIYOS dininig naman nya dasal ko at ang RESULTA ay negative naman ang result... Syempre napaiyak ako sa tuwa at hindi ako makapaniwala dahil sa dami na rin ng nakasex ko before..... Then sabi ni Journey na nagjoke sa akin!! eh kasi naman daw butt ang niyari ko at alam naman daw madumi....

May tanong lang ako.... Pinababalik ako ng counselor ko sa October for another test may posibilidad ba na pwede pang magbago yung result? Pwede bang huwag na akong bumalik dahil negative naman na ang result at dahil may tiwala naman ako sa naging partner ko. Na medyo hindi naman na ako nakikipagkita na sa kanya...

Pwede ka ba talaga magkaroon ng TULO or gonorrhea kahit sabihin mong malinis ang kasex mo dahil sa butt mo sya nakasex without condom?

Base sa aking pag-aaral at naging experience magkakaroon ka lang ng HIV kung ang mga naksex mo eh may HIV rin?

Kung negative pa rin ang result means to say eh malaya na ako sa HIV... and next time ayoko na talaga makipagsex at si Mariang Palad na lang talaga.

Paano ba ang gagawin ko ngayon kasi medyo praning pa rina ko sa mga nangyayari at ang dami ko pa ring mga alalahanin....Gusto ko bumalik sa normal ang takbo ng buhay ko pero parang nagkaroon ako ng nervous breakdown.... Hindi pa rin ako makatulog ng maayos kahit na alam kong negative naman na ang result.....Sobra pa rin ako praning sa mga
nangyari...Pero gusto kong bumalik sa normal before ako bumalik sa clinic ng October.....

Well I am still keep praying and hope pagpray nyo rin ako at sana negative ulit ang result...

Thanks to GOD and to you POZZIE dahil nag karoon ako ng lakas ng loob mag patest..

POZZIEPINOY’S RESPONSE

Hi Tripermale.

Thank you for your email. Sorry for not translating your email anymore in English as it would be too long for my readers to read both in English and in Tagalog. However, for the sake of my other readers let me tell your story briefly.

You said in your email that you had STD twice which you thought you got from having unprotected sex with your past two partners. You also said that you believed that your last partner had no HIV because he works in a five start hotel and he gets a medical test every 3 months. You narrated to us how you took the test because the one who checked you up for your gonorrhea told you to take the test.

Well, I am glad that through the blog you were able to take the HIV test and I am so proud of you. Like what I have been telling you, the staff and the counselors in RITM Satellite Clinic in Malate are very professional, very friendly, non judgmental and accommodating. I am happy that you have experienced that first hand.

Now let us go down to business.

First, you have to do what the counsellor had told you to do, which is you need to retake the test in October. This will finally put down to rest any doubts that you are having. Most of the best HIV doctors here still opt for the 3 and 6 months post exposure HIV testing so you might as well follow it. For the meantime, enjoy the result and please use condom when you plan to have sex again. You don't have to be scared about having relationships, just be cautious with what you will do when it comes to sexual intercourse. I know you are still scared and the waiting for another 3 months makes you worry more but just focus on other things for now and live a happy and healthy lifestyle.

Second, please just don't have unprotected sex UNTIL you really know the HIV status of your partner (or STD status, for that matter). It is not enough knowing that your previous partner is working in a good company or he is getting his medical tests every 3 months. How do you know if HIV is included in those tests or not? Did you know that HIV is never a requirement for employment here in the Philippines, but rather a voluntary testing? Please just don't believe a person telling you that he or she is HIV negative. Sometimes it is best to see the paper right before your eyes. The cases of HIV is increasing rapidly so it is best to be sure, nowadays. Just use a condom until you are absolutely sure he or she is safe!

Like what I previously said, I am proud of you for taking the test. I do hope that others will follow what you have done, for having the courage to face the truth and knowing your HIV status.

I hope I was able to answer your concerns. Feel free to email me again if you have other questions.

Stay healthy,

Pozziepinoy