Email 451: Worried of His Kids!

Posted by Pozziepinoy on 9:08 PM

hi! isa ako sa madalas mag basa ng blog mo mag mula nung malaman kong positibo ako last june 2013 at malaki ang naitulong nito sa akin na matanggap ang katotohanan.

about 5years ago now e hindi na ako ako sumisiping sa asawa ko sa kadahilanang nagkaroon ako ng identity crisis. sabihin nating isa ako bisexual even before i got married na pinilit ko lang baguhin sa kagustuhan ko magkaroon ng pamilya.

pero siguro nga, gay will always be gay no matter how i denied it.

i admit i had a few fling (with same sex) before i dicided to settle down. i've been married for 12 years now and have two kids, one is 11 and the other one is 7 years old.


today, me and my wife are separated. nasa probinsya sila kasama mga anak ko at ako nandiito sa maynila.

my wife inform me that my youngest got diagnosed having tuberculosis just like me. ( yes she knows i had tb but not hiv).

what worries me is baka positibo na ako bago pa man ako mag asawa and that my wife and my kids also haa hiv.

this scenario gives me creep. madalas na hindi ako nito patulugin. mas iniisip ko pa kung ano mangyayari sa mag iina ko kesa sa maaring mangyari sa akin.

payuhan mo naman ako.

XXX

TRANSLATION


Hi!

I am one of the avid readers of your blog eversince I knew that I am positive last June 2013 and it has helped me accept the truth.

For about 5 years, I haven’t slept with my wife because I had an identity crisis. Let’s say I was bisexual even before I got married which I tried to deny before I got married because I wanted to have a family of my own.

But yet, gay will always be gay no matter how I denied it.

I admit I had a few flings (with same sex) before I decided to settle down. I've been married for 12 years now and have two kids, one is 11 and the other one is 7 years old.

today, me and my wife are separated.  She is in the province with my kids while I live in Manila. 

My wife informed me that my youngest got diagnosed with tuberculosis just like me (yes she knew i had TB but not HIV).

What worries me now is maybe I was positibo before I got married and that my wife and my kids also hava HIV.

This scenario gives me the creeps. Most of the time it makes me awake at night. I am thinking more of what might happen to my family than what might happen to me.

Please give me an advice.

XXX


POZZIEPINOY’S RESPONSE

Hi XXX.

Thank you for your email. Thank you for sharing your concerns with us.

Although any kid can be exposed to tuberculosis, when it comes to you having HIV, which you think you maybe carrying even prior to your wedding, my advice would be simple yet hard. You have to tell your wife your HIV status and how you are worried about her and your kids. By this and only this can you have peace of mind, can you solve the health issues of your kids. 

I know it is hard as there will be repercussions, but use your head and your heart. You know that there is a possibility that you could have infected them, and if you love your family so much, then you need to tell them the truth and subject them to the HIV test.

I know it is hard but there is no other way to know. You can have your kids get tested with your permission alone as they are still young (as under the law, HIV test can be done with a parental consent or an adult, if underage), but for me it is not right to not inform your wife about it.

I hope I was able to answer your concerns. Feel free to email me again if you have other questions.


Stay healthy,
Pozziepinoy










"WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
NO PLHIV is alone with his or her struggle with HIV!"

-Pozziepinoy-



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