PLHIV Story: Keep Swimming ~ Living with HIV in the Philippines

PLHIV Story: Keep Swimming

Posted by Pozziepinoy on 9:56 PM

My reel and real story.

Call me Grey, not my real name.I am HIV +, it’s been two months since I knew my result. I am from South of the Islands of the Philippines - Cagayan de Oro.

I call it as my Dark Age or simply RESTLESS Days.I had a wonderful and simple life here in the suburbs but I chose to work in a Big city for better opportunities. Financially My family can provide me and brother the things we ask but as young as i was. I want more. I want freedom and to live Independently. It was a very different life and yes i love it. I enjoyed it so much that I forgot the things which matter. I was really depressed during those times that I cling to the short term happiness. I became promiscuous and I made that choice. I enjoyed the short times with some guys randomly. I had several flings and it became a pattern. A patter of my life that i never wish. But it happened and never did I regret it.

At what point made you decide to take the hiv test, where did you take it and when (and also, what were the symptoms)

October 2011, I decided to come home. I had the best and worst days of my life. I need to choose and learn to love myself and came home to embrace the people who matters to me. I got sick most of the time. From fever and cough, until i got diagnose with shingles January 2011. My self denial did not help me. I made me sick until July 2012 up to Nov.2012 i got ill once in awhile. I was really sick. My family became worried. I stayed in my composure and never thought of having the virus. I still became active with my sexual life. I was irresponsible then. I continue my life as if its the last and stil engaging with the short lived joy from sex.

Earlier this year 2013, i became ill and I lose weight , 10% of my weight dropped. It was the turning point in my life. I was indeed sick and I know it is serious. My family were the first and the last people i confide with. I need to get more rest and need to change my life. Feb.2012, I got mild TB. I was then diagnosed for a series of test and laboratory in a private hospital here in CDO. I was enrolled to DOTS for free meds for TB. That moment in my life, I learned to value my family more. They matters to me. They were there when I was about to quit life. They were there for me. No judgement. Just care and unconditional love. My tita which is like my second mom where so hands on during these awful times. My nurse cousin was there to check on me. My mama is always there praying for my recovery. I had one month fever which occurs for period of time, 6pm to 8pm until such time it became worst. Medicines helped a lot and of course I help myself. I was about to quit and I dont want to see a mirror coz i know I will never want to see myself in pain and so much distress. Only God became my refuge during those times. He was there and together with my family. I disconnect myself from the world for 5 months and I celebrated each day as if my last. Mid May2013 I got better and better each day. Loving yourself more is my weapon for this fight. My best friends who knew my situation was there too. I was in solitude and in silence during those months. I recovered so fast and it was amazing. A second life indeed.

what was your reaction when you found out the result

May 28, 2013. It was a perfect timing and I contacted my peer counselor from City Health. I told him that I will take the test. I believe it was God’s grace and courage to take risk. It was a risk I would carry for a lifetime. Afternoon that day I got the result. I knew I am positive. I knew it. my suspicion was right. As the doctor were discussing about my case. I listen and think of the things I did. I answered him I need to accept coz I made a choice. No regrets now. I am now ready to face. A rebirth for me. A call for service.

how did you deal with it ?

One of the most difficult situation I ever deal with was able to accept it day by day. I became better and more loving of myself. I was indeed whole now. I was once a puzzle and here I am feeling complete now. I dealt with with openness and embracing it unconditionally and with God’s grace.

Family matters to me now. My best friends and my new friends from advocacy molded me to become STRONG.I need to chose the people whom i want to share with. I love my family and I want them to be safe from any opinion. Blaming situations doesn’t help at all.Dealing it with open arms and continuing living and Stop worrying. Yoga helped me a lot and being with optimistic people.To become a voice to my fellow plhiv. advocate for love and inner peace.

REMEMBER YOU ARE ALL LOVED. I AM praying FOR ALL OF US. LET US JOIN TOGETHER AND BUILD A NEW US. CONTINUE TO SHARE AND HUGS ALWAYS.

It took me two months to write and start this blog. Thank you for all the advocates : Jul A., Ms.Kre and Ms.Le, and Von ( for naming project O2 ) who helped me go through. You are always my inspiration and the wind beneath my wings.

To my family and best of friends. You showed me that your LOVE can heal. I am now ready to face this battle.

Hugs and Love,

GREY

Thank you Gboy for the guided questions. Jake Rn for the warmth advice, Chris + for the care, and pozziepinoy for the inspiration for this blog.POZZIEPINOY’S RESPONSE