Email 406: How to Tell Others to Take the Test?

Posted by Pozziepinoy on 5:54 PM


I was diagnosed with HIV in middle east last month. Nagkaroon lang naman ako ng dalawang partner nung 2012... First yung partner ko from may to october, we were having unprotected sex all the time (anal and oral) by january 2013 he opted for hiv testing and it negative. My 2nd partner was november 2012-feb 2013  still with unprotected sex. and i was diagnosed this june 2013 in my counting sa huling partner ko nakuha ang virus.  
Nagpatest na din ako dito sa pinas and its reactive, just waiting for the confirmatory. Natatakot kasi akong sabihan siya, since we are not in good term and pati yung pinsan ko nagsex din pala sila before pa naging kami. I cant tell them both since wala pang may alam na i do have hiv, family ko pa lang ang may alam.  Can you help me how to tell them.


Hi there.

Thank you for your email.

It is now your responsibility to tell your ex partner about it. YOU HAVE TO or else he might sleep around and spread the virus to other people. However, I know it is pretty difficult since you want other people to know but it is a must to inform him and your cousin to take the test.

If I were you, here is what I can do.

1. If you don't want a confrontation, send an anonymous email, text message or tweet that he (they) may be infected with HIV and he (they) need(s) to take the HIV Test. Let me tell you that I did that to the people that I had sex with after I was diagnosed with HIV. I told them through an anonymous text message and email about HIV, about the rise of HIV in the country and where to get tested. Trust me, after that you will feel that you had unloaded a burden in your heart. Now, it will be up to them to follow what you advised but at least you already did your part.

2. Send an anonymous text or email that you had sex with him and now you have HIV. I know this is a blunt scare for him but better to inform your ex partner now so that he won't transmit it to others. I know this option might lead the message back to you and he might confront you, but like what I said, this can be just another option.

3. When it comes to your cousin, you can ask him directly to take the test. You can pretend that you are scared about HIV and you need someone who can assist you in going to the HIV testing site. Tell your cousin that it will make you feel better if he would also take the test. with you. Tell him that you don't need to share the results with one another for confidentiality.

Like what I said, you have a big responsibility now. You have the capacity to either let the people you know who you suspect to have HIV and spread the virus to other people or help in stopping the virus from spreading. It is a choice, a hard choice but you have to do it!

I hope I was able to answer your concerns. Feel free to email me again if you have other questions.

Stay healthy,

NO PLHIV is alone with his or her struggle with HIV!"


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